'AITA for not buying a house because my dad is demanding I do it if I'm a real adult?'
"AITA for not buying a cheap house?"
Existing_Use8524 writes:
I (28F) live with my fiancé (31M) in a rented apartment in the city center. It's 75 square meters, modern, in a good location, and 15 minutes by bike to work, which is perfect for us. My parents can't understand this.
For them, paying rent is “money down the drain.” According to them, you have to own a house, otherwise you're not a real adult. And of course, we need a house for the kids. Because apparently, kids cannot survive in a rental apartment.
We do not even have kids, but we would like to in the future. We are not trying currently though. Now the part where I might be the a^@$ole: We had a huge argument over dinner during the weekend. My father had found a nice house in the countryside, not far from their place.
A friend of his wanted to sell it and offered it to us at a very reduced price (it was truly cheap, though I didn’t see the condition of the house) because he is a lifelong friend of my father and “young people should move back to the countryside to keep it alive.”
But we don't want a house right now. We want to stay flexible and independent. We also do not want to move to the countryside, because everything is literally dead there. There is nothing after 7 PM, no supermarkets are open, and no buses run. I love going out for dinner, or to the movies, or maybe just to a nice café that stays open late, or a bar.
But my mother just says, “When you have children, you'll want a house and a garden anyway. Kids don't thrive in a concrete jungle! You're acting completely egoistic. Your father tried so hard to get that offer so low!”
The complete disregard for my and my fiancé’s perspective on life made me burst. I got loud, I cried, and I left. My parents now act as if I am lazy or irresponsible just because we do not want to buy a random house in a village at the end of the world. However, we are saving money, have reserves, and could theoretically buy in a few years if prices change. We could buy a house we would really want then.
I really feel bad for shouting at my parents and for running away, but I really had to get out. I haven't spoken to them since, but they keep messaging me (despite my fiancé telling them that we need time to discuss the matter). AITA because I do not want to buy a cheap house?
Here are the top comments.
diminishingpatience says:
NTA. "If you're nearby it's much easier for us to interfere and to make even more decisions for you." Enjoy your life and make the most of your current situation.
Meriby says:
NTA. Why do parents try to run their children’s lives? Maybe they should buy the house and rent it out if it’s such a good deal.
Legitimate-Curve-346 says:
NTA. It's your life. You make the decisions.
Individual_Metal_983 says:
NTA what's egotistic is expecting your child to uproot their life, lifestyle and wants to come and live near you because you want it. You do not need to discuss anything. Especially not such a huge financial commitment you don't want to make. Do not be bullied into this even if it means a period of low contact.