I (23F) nearly broke up with my boyfriend (24) a few days ago after my birthday dinner. I know everybody has their own style and can dress how they want, but this was the last straw for me. I’m aware of certain trends of couples going out, with the woman being dressed up and the man being in a tracksuit. We've had some situations like that, and it really annoyed me.
Sometimes we'd go out, and he’d be wearing his favorite pair of jeans, which are the most disgusting thing on earth. Ripped blue denim, but not proper denim. You know the denim I'm talking about. They get tight at the bottom, and it looks horrible. And when he zips up his big coat, well, he looks like a minion.
He has those jeans in a few colors, and whenever he tells me to dress up, I'm aware he will be wearing a pair of those. I can't stand it anymore; I've told him.
I've tried to take him shopping, I've tried to expand his style. In my opinion, he would look amazing in straight-cut trousers, with simpler patterns, etc. His clothes don’t complement him at all. I was so happy when one pair of his jeans ripped.
A few days ago, it was my birthday dinner, and he said he was taking me to a fancy restaurant and told me to look nice. I put on a nice dress and high heels. He came to pick me up, and he was wearing THE JEANS, with a BRIGHT GREEN FOOTBALL TOP.
I wanted to collapse. We got to the restaurant, and everyone was wearing shirts, nice trousers, and nice coats, etc. He was there in a football shirt. I felt so embarrassed. And he told me to dress up.
I understand I sound like an absolute a&%^ole, but I think there are certain places and times to wear certain clothes. I could’ve turned up in a sweatshirt too. Anyway, I ate as fast as possible, thanked him for dinner, and we went home. When he asked if I wanted to do something afterward, I simply said no.
I’m at the point where I feel embarrassed. I feel horrible that I do, but I can’t help it. I'm sure I have clothes that he doesn’t like either, but that’s not the point. The point is that he simply cannot dress for an occasion; he looks horrible in the stuff he picks and keeps on spending money on the exact same clothes that are just horrible.
With that being said, he does have some clothes I really like on him, and I am happy when I see him wear them. However, if I get the opportunity, yes, I will burn all the jeans, except if I lose my mind before then and just simply leave him over jeans. Which sounds insane. I can’t help it.
Here are some of the top comments:
NTA (Not the A^#@ole) of course. Break up if you want to break up. But I’m really curious about what “not proper denim” means. I have no idea what OP is describing. I’m hoping some nice redditor can explain it to me?
Any reason is valid reason for break up. Heck, you don't even need a reason, other than "because I want to."
It’s not unreasonable to think someone would make a bit of an effort when going to a decent restaurant, particularly when they’ve asked you to dress up. Also NTA for breaking up with him if you don’t like the way he dresses, that’s something that matters to people and you shouldn’t have to make an excuse about it.
I dated someone who I didn’t like the way they dressed and I ended up stopping going places as I didn’t want to be embarrassed. That actually wasn’t fair on them. Their aesthetic is their thing, I wouldn’t ask them to change, but I realised it wasn’t something I was happy with so I quit the relationship.
What you need to make sure you don’t do though is manipulate him into changing, because that’s not fair either. This one is on you, not him (no matter how gross those jeans are) and it’s ok to break up if you’re not happy.
Why would he bother asking YOU to dress up when he deliberately wore ripped jeans and a football shirt? That lack of awareness is bizarre.
What do you think? Is OP wrong to want to break up with her boyfriend?