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'AITA for breaking up with my fiancée because she was fat shaming my ex at a party?'

'AITA for breaking up with my fiancée because she was fat shaming my ex at a party?'


I called off my wedding after discovering my fiancée's longstanding grudge against my ex.

cChance_Digc writes:

We (m33, f28) have been together for 3 years and engaged for 1. Before her, I dated Sarah (f34). We are all acquaintances, and while we don’t hang out with Sarah, occasionally we run into her. Although my breakup with Sarah wasn’t amicable, we are now very cordial. We don’t talk, but now I'm wondering if my fiancée keep it this way?

We were at a housewarming party, and Sarah was there, which set my fiancée on edge. I noticed it, but I didn’t say anything because she’s an adult. Then I overheard her talking to Sarah and some other girls.

My fiancée was laughing and telling Sarah, "OMG, you are so fat now." It made me feel uncomfortable. When Sarah left, I asked my fiancée, "WTF?" She laughed and said it was nothing; Sarah did look like she gained weight. She left to get more wine, and another friend told me that my fiancée always bullied Sarah.

I don’t want to be married to a bully. I tried talking and discussing why it wasn’t okay with my fiancée, but she brushed it off, not seeing any problems. I broke up with her. She started crying and begging, but I said it was over. I don’t want to be married to a bully. She called me the AH and said that I chose Sarah over her, my fiancée. Now, everyone is calling me the AH.

The only reason I can think of why she calls me the AH is that my fiancée liked me way before we got together, even before I got together with Sarah. So maybe it was personal for her, given the new information that my fiancée never liked Sarah (and I got together with her).

OP provided more context in the comments:

FinancialRaspeberry16 says:

NTA - I get being jealous but that never gives the right for someone to bully and make someone feel so low. You barely interacted with Sarah and you proposed to your fiancée, theres no reason to act this way when you chose her already. Even if you and Sarah do talk, there was no reason to body shame someone especially in front of an audience.

If this occasion was a once off maybe it could be explained by a moment of jealousy but to be doing this constantly is just so shallow. Thank god you found this out before going through the wedding and marrying someone who could potentially do this to other people in your life.

Shes mad because you found out her true color's and she wants to blame everyone else but herself. Sarah and you didn't deserve this behaviour and I hope your doing okay, and hopefully Sarah isn't too hurt by your ex fiancée.

OP responded:

According to the friend my fiancée has always bullied Sarah for not being from “our social status”. I didn’t know anything about it. Never noticed it either.

chewie8291 says:

NTA. She would 100% start bullying you.

OP responded:

Wouldn’t be surprised. I just thought, she will bully the children into ED.

Old-Thought-5875 says:

NTA. It sounds like you dodged a bullet. no excuse for bullying someone for their weight..

OP responded:

It doesn’t make it better or worse (because I am against fat shaming) but Sarah isn’t even fat and hasn’t gained or lost weight.

What do you think? Was OP right to break up with his fiancée?

Sources: Reddit
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