'AITA for calling my sister a petty brat after she named her daughter to mock my wife?'
"AITA for calling my sister a petty brat and saying I felt sorry for her daughter because of her name?"
Euphoric-Macaroon-61 says:
My sister gave birth to her daughter 7 weeks ago. We're not that close anymore, but at one time we were. However, she's a d%^k to my wife and I can't stand by that, so we're low contact. I don't call her, don't answer if she calls me, but I will see her when it's something family-related and I will be civil and polite to her typically.
When I say she's a d*&k to my wife, it's because she's so petty with her. My wife is Irish. She didn't grow up in the US and only moved here in her 20s. So she has a very strong connection to her home. She has a strong accent and her name is Irish, and she's very protective over people saying it correctly, and rightly so in my opinion.
My wife is Ciara, for those who'll wonder. My sister poked fun at the way my wife said certain things, like tomato. She told my wife she was saying it wrong. Because my wife could stand up for herself and would just roll her eyes if my sister made a bigger deal out of it, my sister got annoyed.
So she started to make a point to say my wife's name like we would say it with that spelling and told my wife she's in America now so she should accept her name being said like that. I told my sister she was acting like a kid and to cut it out. The final straw was when we were expecting our first child, and my sister told us we better not pick a weird name and my wife better not teach our kid to say things weird.
I told my sister she was so f%^#ing ignorant it was crazy because different parts of the world will have different accents and different names for things. I also told her my children will be half Irish and if we wanted to give them Irish names it was nothing to do with her. And we went low contact after that.
So now my sister has a daughter, and what did she name her daughter? Ciara. But said in the way we would say it. She made a big point to send me and my wife an announcement about it and the name, and my wife's announcment specifically came with a pronunciation. I didn't get that and neither did anyone else in the family.
We saw her on Saturday and she was smirking the whole time and loudly saying her daughter's name for the two hours we were in her presence. Others in the family told her she didn't need to repeat the name over and over, but she carried on.
She told our parents her daughter loved hearing her name and loved hearing a phonetically correct name. When we were leaving, my sister tried to approach my wife.
I stepped in between them, told my sister she was a petty brat, and I felt sorry for her kid being named to spite someone else. I told her she couldn't be more of a child if she was truly trying to be. All Sunday and yesterday, she was blowing up my phone, angry I had said that to her. I didn't reply. AITA?
Here are the top comments:
hopefullyhelpfulyaps says:
NTA (Not the A^@&ole). Your reaction was aggressive, sure, but things like that pile up on you. Based on the situation, I'd also assume that her choosing that name was intentionally done as an attention seeking move--something to poke at a hornet's nest, if you will.
It's a bit ironic that she was very adamant about you guys not picking an Irish name but ended choosing one for herself, lol. Even with American pronunciation, that still doesn't take away the origins of the name.
If she really did pick out the name Ciara with no other intention or preference other than to stir the pot, I bet $10 she'll eventually get tired of the whole situation and want to change it later down the line. It's a bit strange as to how strongly your sister seems to be fixated on your wife though. Is she not used to having any ethnic friends at all, even as someone who lived in the US?
OP responded:
She has friends from different backgrounds but all grew up in the US and have more common names (common for America). She doesn't interact with too many people who have accents from different countries.
Trevena_Ice says:
WTF? The poor child. Named that to be what, some kind of sweet revenge? This is so messed up. I would block her just so she can be all smirking by herself. Or better, call her and thank her, that you never realized that she loved your wife and you so much, that she would name her child after the two of you - the same name as your wife but with a American Accent so it also represent you.
Just to show her that, she can't anger you with that. And you see it as some form of honor. I think that would drive her furious and maybe overthink the whole name stuff. Because with the argument, the American pronunciation is just to represent your US heritage and also to differ her to be not the exact same as your wife, she looses all the wind of the 'hehe, and that's how you pronounce it.'
OP responded:
Yeah, imagine how that goes in the future if she asks my sister where her name came from or why she named her that. So much "WTF" in that and my sister is 31. She's not some young kid who you sort of expect to be immature.
Something-bothersome says:
Is your sister ok? I mean that genuinely. I won’t give a rating because honestly, it all seems a bit irrational and concerning for someone who seems to have recently birthed. She is displaying very odd behaviour, quite fixated. That is quite extreme to name a new born child specifically to upset or dig at someone they very rarely see.
Pregnancy hormones can really mess people up, or perhaps exacerbated an underlying problem?Anyway, I hope there are numerous sets of eyes on her child. There does not seem to be a lot of focus on the over all wellbeing of her child.
What do you think?