'AITA for calling myself disabled because of my bones in front of a disabled person?'

"AITA for calling myself (18F) disabled in front of a disabled person?"

unintentionalgaytwin says:

Two weeks ago, I started an internship at a data analytics firm. Apparently, at the beginning of every summer, they hold a BBQ to welcome the new interns and give them a chance to get to know everyone outside of work.

The BBQ was held at my boss's house, and about 25 people were expected to come. My boss had set up a volleyball net, and after everyone was finished eating, people started teaming up and heading over to play.

One of my coworkers asked me to join their team, but I politely declined. I explained that I have a disability and couldn't play. I didn't explain much further because the disability that I have is an extremely rare genetic disorder that is difficult to explain, so I usually just keep it pretty bare minimum. If people want to ask about it, they always do.

Well, one of my other coworkers is disabled and uses a wheelchair. She was close enough nearby to hear what I said and shot me a really dirty look when I said I had a disability. She said that there was no possible way I had a disability because she sees that I walk fine and have no observable impairments. This caught me a little off guard because I have never had anyone question whether I was truly disabled or not.

I explained to her that I was born with a genetic deformity and that the bones in my legs had formed incorrectly. I told her that I had many surgeries growing up and was in the hospital so often that I had to do school online.

She asked me why I even needed those surgeries, so I explained that my knees dislocate very easily and I had difficulty walking without popping a knee out. So I spent seven years having surgeries and recovering to get me to the point where I could walk again.

But I can't do a lot of things that others can. I can't run. I can't jump. I can't pivot easily, and I definitely can't play sports. I always joke that if my life depended on it, I could run, but I wouldn't make it more than a block.

She argued with me back and forth and said that my condition isn't really a disability. I feel really bad. I have always classified it as a disability because I don't know what else to call it. I never thought that it would be offensive to others. Either way, my coworker stormed off, and I decided to just go home. So AITAH for calling myself disabled in front of my disabled coworker?

The comments addressed OP's post.

blondewithbadknees says:

NTA. I was born with a genetic deformity and I am classified as disabled by the ADA. If your deformity limits life activities, it is considered a disability. Not being able to run or jump definitely sounds like limitations to me. The fact that you have never run into this issue before tells me that most people would agree.

Fakeus3rname says:

NTA- she can’t gatekeep disabilities. Sounds like you did a decent job explaining to her but you didn’t truly need to share that much info. It could have been a hundred other diagnosis options and it still wouldn’t have mattered. Still wouldn’t have been her business.

GorgoPrimus says:

NTA, but they’re a raging one. They don’t get to decide what is and isn’t a disability, and not all disabilities are visible ones. If they keep harassing you for your disability being ‘fake’ you should report them to HR.

OP responded:

I am planning on bringing this up to HR tomorrow. Another coworker messaged me after I left saying that she was ranting to some of our team members about how "people like me" take away from others getting the accommodations they need. I would rather let it go and let this all blow over but I'm more worried that she'll drag it on.

What do you think?