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'AITA for telling my friend if she stopped trying to steal my husband maybe she'd keep a BF?'

'AITA for telling my friend if she stopped trying to steal my husband maybe she'd keep a BF?'

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"AITA for telling my best friend if she wasn't always trying to get with my husband, her boyfriend wouldn't have left her?"

Mindless-Day5597 writes:

I (27f) have been best friends with "Kira" (27f) since we were little. We were neighbors, went to the same school, college, etc. She was my MoH when I married "Rowan" (28m), who we went to college with. At first, Kira had a big crush on him, but he started liking me.

We slowly got closer, and I started liking him too (this was after Kira had told me she'd gotten over it and was dating another guy). But I still felt really guilty and didn't want to date him if it would hurt Kira. I asked her multiple times if she was okay with it, and she said she was, so I thought it was fine.

Kira's been with her latest boyfriend, "Adam" (27m), for a year or so. However, over the last few months, she's been acting strange around Rowan. Whenever we were hanging out, just the three of us, or even with Adam there, she'd always find some way to sit next to Rowan, laugh at everything he said, etc.

I didn't think anything of it initially because I knew that was kind of her personality, and she and Rowan are friends. But then she started always asking me if Rowan was there before she came over, and if I said no, she'd often suddenly say she couldn't come—though sometimes she would say that even if I said he was here.

Rowan also told me about a comment she made to him once about how he was so patient for putting up with me being "too tired to do anything with him" now that I was pregnant, which I thought was weird.

The odd behavior continued, but to be honest, the pregnancy had been keeping me too exhausted to give it a lot more thought, and Rowan seemed as friendly with Kira as always. But two days ago, our mutual friend "Shay" threw a dinner party. Rowan and I went, as did Kira and Adam. Kira got a bit tipsy, and she kept trying to sit with Rowan and touch him.

He excused himself a few times, but she kept finding him. I tried to get her off a few times, and I was getting mad because this was a new line she was crossing. She was slurring about how I "stole Rowan from her." Thankfully, Adam was too busy talking to Shay's husband to hear this, but he definitely saw Kira's actions.

The next afternoon, I was at Shay's again with some friends when Kira showed up. She was crying about how Adam had broken up with her that day, saying he didn't think they were going to work out. Everyone was consoling her, but I was just kind of sitting there. I couldn't help but feel like she brought this upon herself.

She asked me, "Aren't you going to say something?" so I said, "Maybe Adam wouldn't have left you if you weren't trying to get with Rowan all the time." Some of our other friends were shocked to hear this and got mad at Kira. Some got angry with me, saying Kira was just really friendly with everyone and that was a horrible accusation to make.

Kira was upset, saying she couldn't believe I thought that of her and maybe we really weren't that close. She left in tears, and I left soon after too. Now I don't know, maybe I was wrong? Kira had been drinking at the dinner party and might not have meant what she said, and the other stuff could've been nothing. Maybe this was too harsh to say to her after a breakup, and we could've talked privately, not in front of our friends. AITA?

Here are the top rated reactions to OP's story.

Aholden-48 says:

NTA. Well not entirely. Yes it was kinda rude to just say that after she had been dumped, but she had been acting like this for a long time. To the point even Rowan was getting uncomfortable but she still persisted. Getting drunk didn’t help and I bet Adam did hear her when she said you stole Rowan from her.

She’s clearly been jealous this whole time from my pov. She has yet to move on and has only tried to get closer. Rowan also brought up that comment she said that made both of you uncomfortable about being too tired to do anything. That’s not a normal thing to say to your best friends husband. Even as a joke that’s messed up. NTA.

Huntress145 says:

NTA for what you said, but why are keeping this person in your life? She’s not your friend. She’s been actively harassing your husband and you continue to keep bringing her around.

RedneckDebutante says:

Kira is trying to f%$k your husband. She is not your friend at all. You're NTA for saying that, but YTA for allowing her to make your husband uncomfortable with her predatory behavior.

If one of your female friends told you that another friend's husband was constantly touching her, flirting with her, and making personal comments about her intimate life, what would you say? Start standing up for your husband.

Terrible_Delivery84 says:

NTA. You know your friend well enough to know she was over-stepping her bounds and being over friendly with your husband. You've fired a little warning shot to let her know it's not acceptable. If Kira respects you and your friendship, she'll back off. If not, you're better off without that drama in your marriage.

What do you think?

Sources: Reddit
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