'AITA for accusing my BIL of cheating on his ex-wife because he keeps calling her crazy?'
"AITA for calling out my brother in law for calling his ex-wife crazy?"
Freaky-Freddy writes:
My wife's brother got divorced 2 years ago. He was cheating on his wife with a co-worker. This co-worker was bringing him lunch every day (brother-in-law's ex-wife never cooked). My BIL and his mistress would be texting all night after work. They would go out to lunch alone often.
His ex-wife was furious at him and accused her of "trying to steal my husband." It drove his ex-wife crazy with jealousy, and deservedly so. My BIL claimed it never got physical until the divorce was final, that it was platonic until then. He says it was just a friendship.
He is now engaged to the mistress. At minimum, it was an emotional affair. Nobody in his family believed him. Fast forward to last weekend. He came over to our home for a casual visit.
He kept insulting his ex-wife about how "crazy jealous" she was. He always says this about her, and I hate when he says that. His ex-wife was a nice person. So I finally responded with, "Yeah, women tend to get crazy jealous when you cheat on them with a co-worker."
NOTE: His fiancée wasn't with him. The room went silent and awkward. He left shortly thereafter. My wife got mad at me and told me that wasn't true, that it wasn't physical until after the divorce.
My response was: "I call bulls%&t. They were most likely physical, and at minimum, it was an emotional affair." Then my wife said, "Well, you didn't have to say anything."
I liked his ex-wife. She was part of our family for a very long time. I am greatly annoyed that he constantly insults her. She was a good person who got betrayed. His family plays along with the "crazy ex-wife narrative," and it's just not true. She isn't crazy.
She was cheated on and has every right to be angry at him for a very long time. He's upset because the divorce was ugly. She went full force with the lawyer, maximizing child support and alimony. He whines about how much he's paying her.
Now I have to go to their wedding. I have zero respect for either of them in regard to their relationship. I don't respect him for cheating, and I don't respect her for going after a married man. AITA?
OP responded to some of the top comments of the post.
SummerTimeRedSea says:
NTA your wife should not be ok with this at all, unless she thinks like her brother and this is not good for you and your marriage. She can love her brother but letting him insults his ex who was cheated on is not ok at all. You have a wife problem here. Her morals are... weird.
OP responded:
My wife has told me many times how disappointed she was in her brother, and how shocked she was that he cheated. She was mad at me for creating drama. I just got fed up listening to his bulls%@t.
Whatever53143 says:
You should also call out your ex wife on her loyalty to her cheating brother! Ask her if she would like to be in the situation her ex SIL was and see how she feels. Even if you play along with the “it wasn’t physical until the divorce bs!”
OP responded:
Not my ex-wife, current wife. She agrees with me. She hates what her brother did. But my wife is a quiet, non-confrontatiol person. She won't say anything to him. She doesn't like or respect his fiance. She plays nice to "keep the peace".