'AITA for changing my delivery address to mom's home so my wife can't unbox my stuff?'
"AITA for changing my delivery address to mom's house so my wife doesn't unbox my packages?"
We're 34M & 33F, got married in 2022, living together since 5 years. My wife WFH (IT) and I work at a public department. We're childfree, the Government will take care of our retirement and hospital bills. So, we don't have any big reason to save a lot of money... as a result, we spend like 50% of our combined income for upgrading our lifestyle, buying things for fun, travel, etc.
Each of us do like 20 orders/month. Since I’m out of the house during the day, my wife usually receives my deliveries. The issue is, she unboxes my orders behind my back, even though I've told her not to. I know it sounds petty, but it ruins the unboxing experience for me. I love inspecting all the contents and packaging the way we received it, etc.
Although she roughly keeps them back in the place, that's nowhere near as good as the original packaging. It's not like I don't trust her with the content, she's a little careless with items, while I'm kind of a perfectionist and take care of my belongings. All of this contributes towards ruining my delivery experience.
Once, she accidently threw away the manual of a gadget along with the packaging. I assumed that it didn't come with a manual and spent my whole evening figuring out its functions.
I told her multiple times, still she opens them up out of curiosity. I can't set the delivery location to my office as it's a government building and nobody does that. So, I changed the address to my mom's house, as she lives near my office, a distance close enough to visit her house even daily.
Mom has no issues with claiming my orders and never opens them. But now my wife is upset and accusing me of taking the personal matter out of our house. My mom isn't tech savvy, must've assumed that I somehow get some discounts by getting things delivered to her doorstep. I haven't told her the real reason why I did that.
Here's what people had to say to OP:
3dgemaster says:
NTA. You're enforcing a boundary. The real issue is why you even had to do that, why isn't your very simple and reasonable request enough for her.
No_Reputation5871 says:
The second you said, and is careless and even throws the manuals away.. You had me there.. The fact is, if she threw the manual away, what else has she thrown out that you didn't know about?? A lot of stuff comes with spare parts.
Maybe a spare filter or belt for a vacuum, etc.. Some stuff can be fragile.. If something was, and she was careless, how do you know if it arrived broken or she broke it?? NTA and I would do the same thing too.
Pretend-Pint says:
Your wife is, you are not. You have a 33 year old toddler without self control. NTA she needs to accept that not every packages is for her. I get opening a package by accident or opening the delivery of coffee/cat food and putting it away, but unboxing the contents?
Ambitious_Dragon_13 says:
NTA but your wife is the AH for you having to do this in the first place. It is really so easy for her not to open your packages, it’s bananas that she is upset that you stopped her from being able to do so.