'AITA for not selling my wrestling tickets to attend my brother's GF's baby shower?'
"AITA (29F) for not selling my wrestling tickets to attend my brother’s (22M) girlfriend’s (23F) rescheduled baby shower?"
I’m the oldest of three. I’m just looking for an outside perspective. Right now, my mom and younger sister (17) live with me. Our brother moved out in November, he's the middle kid. I bought tickets for a wrestling PPV on Feb 28 and planned to go with my sister.
The baby shower was originally set for the first weekend of March, which worked for everyone. But it was recently moved to the same day as the event, even though they knew we already had plans. Our brother took a plea deal and is about to serve 20 days in jail. He has to turn himself in that Monday, so they didn’t want to hold it after. And I wasn't told why it would be so bad to move it even sooner.
When we first met she thought I was a random girl hugging him. Even after he explained I'm his sister she didn't talk to me the rest of the day because she was embarrassed. I've still tried to be supportive because duh, she's gonna have my niece.
I helped plan the original shower with my mom, bought gifts, and drove her to appointments a couple times when no one else could because driving while pregnant makes her nervous. I wasn't really bothered by how awkward things were but I wanted to be nice.
Now the shower will be at my house. Mind you, no one asked me about this. But I didn't want to fight about it so I let it go, which I regret at the moment. The plan is just immediate family, with some games and cake.
Even if I could resell the tickets, I don’t want to. This was planned well in advance, and my sister is really excited. She’s even said she’s willing to give up the event to keep the peace. But I don’t want her to keep seeing me give in to keep others happy especially when it affects her too.
Under other circumstances I’d probably be more flexible. But my life keeps getting rearranged because of my brother’s bad decisions. I paid half his lawyer fees and $7,000 toward his bail. He’s lucky to be getting only 20 days. Only other thing is that I said I won't help with another car, and that didn’t go over well but I've stuck to it.
I love him but I'm literally so tired. It feels like the shower got rescheduled with the assumption we'd just adjust again. I’m over being the oldest daughter who always absorbs the fallout. Being expected to just go along with it feels really disrespectful and I don’t want my sister to lose something she’s looked forward to because of another one of his choices.
I said we’re still going to the event, and I won’t resell. Now I’m being told I’m selfish and choosing something silly over family. Honestly, it pissed me off but I didn't start a fight outright. I just said we're still going.
I think they're anxious about her going into labor while my brother is gone, and some of that stress is being aimed at me. I've started to second guess because I do have time to sell, but AITA for sticking with my original plans instead of attending the rescheduled baby shower? My mom said maybe this isn’t the hill to die on but when do I stop rolling over?
Here's what people had to say to OP:
Ok_Example1664 says:
I think you should go to the match it’s not your fault it was rescheduled you are not responsible for anyone’s choices, but your own have a great time.
No_Control8031 says:
NTA. Why couldn’t your brother just start his sentence straight away so he would be out by the time of the birth? What a strange kind of legal system that lets people just hand themselves into goal at their leisure. In any event they rescheduled on a day you can’t make it. This is on them.
Tiny_Credit_3020 responded:
He had two cases at the same time and because they didn't arrest him in court on the first, the DA let him choose? I don't know, exactly. His lawyer explained and I've just been so !!! that it's in one ear and out the other. Either way, that's apparently what's happening now and it became this… thing.
Madam_J100 says:
NTA. They knew well in advance and still decided to reschedule it on that day. By my perspective, they planned this on purpose because they are mad that they have to reschedule and decided to take it out on others. Like, it ain't your fault your brother got himself in trouble and going to jail for barely a month. What exactly did he do to get himself getting sent to jail?