'I confronted my friend in front of everyone at a gathering...I may have taken it too far.' AITA?
"I confronted my friend in front of everyone at a gathering after she made fun of the fact my grandma had cancer? I may have taken it too far...AITA?"
For context, I was invited to a get together gathering with some old friends and classmates. There are a few people I knew were going that I didn't like, but I thought it'd be fine if I just made some polite talk with them. It wasn't a big deal. I wanted to hang out with my old friends.
However, this is where things get a bit rough. There used to be this girl, who we'll call Sasha. Sasha always made my actions seem ill-intended and just made everything about her. I thought I'd be fine if I just kept my patience, but she crossed the line.
Recently, I discovered my grandmother had cancer. A few friends asked me how it was going, and I just said it as a passing comment because everyone was talking about their hardships. But all of a sudden, when I said that, Sasha said something along the lines of, "stop ruining the mood- just because your old granny has cancer...
I mean it's not like she died." She said this publicly in front of everyone, and we all went dead silent. I ignored her, and moved on to another topic with my other old classmates. But then, she said this: "don't ignore what I just said! Your grandma was (proceeds to say insults)." She continued to say comments, and I could barely contain myself.
Quick info: Sasha is known for being nice to EVERYONE, but she's always been rude to me. But because Sasha is so social and kind with everyone else, people usually don't do anything or think Sasha is right when she's rude to me.
Now, at this point, I was literally furious. Everyone knew I was close with my grandma. I started saying all the things she did to me in the past, and how she cheated on her boyfriend, and that she constantly made everything about herself.
I ended it by saying "It's no wonder you can't keep a stable relationship for longer than a month. You can't even take a test without cheating. I feel sorry for all your boyfriends."
Sasha was always a little sensitive about this topic. At this point, I had no doubt in my mind that I was not wrong. But...after telling some of my friends and thinking it over- I think I may have taken it a bit too far.
I hurled lots of insults at her because she made of of my grandma... but she said it was just a joke. I don't tolerate jokes like that, but I definitely spoiled the mood at the gathering. I think I messed up by even going. So, AITA?
Here's what top commenters had to say about this one:
Old-Mushroom-1700 said:
NTA. She was making fun of your grandma. Who has cancer. You just brought up the mistakes that she's made in the past. I get that you might feel guilty, but it's her fault for making such a "joke" in the first place. I'm pretty sure she knew that wasn't a "joke" and that it would hit a nerve with you. You did not ruin the gathering. SASHA did. I hope your grandma makes a swift recovery.
Bibliophile_w_coffee said:
NTA. What she wasn’t a joke. Jokes are funny. What she did is bullying. If she can’t take it, she shouldn’t dish it.
imamage_fightme said:
NTA. She can dish it but she can't take it. And there is nothing lazier than someone saying the nastiest sh%^, then when they're called out claiming it was "a joke." A joke to who exactly? Cause I know I wouldn't be laughing at someone being nasty about an old lady having cancer.
hollowl0g1c said:
NTA. Not even about it being your grandmother, she was actively making fun of an elderly woman with cancer, most likely life threatening. Sasha's sick in her head, and deserved whatever she had thrown back at her, and a good whooping, she needs one of those.
Menrevil said:
NTA. My granny raised me. She’s been gone almost 30 years now, but if someone said one thing about her even now, I’m unloading everything on them. I don’t care who is around.
xCDOGx said:
NTA, this story probably should have been "So, I slapped the sh$% out of her". Instead of, so I was mean to her though.