'AITA for cutting of my cousin for wedding drama that she made up because she dislikes me?'
AITA for cutting off my cousin and her mom after they refused to take back false accusations about me?
annoyedcousinthrow writes:
I'm in a tough spot and could really use some outside perspective on this situation. So, my cousin Emma and I have never been particularly close, but we've always been civil. When she got engaged in December 2022, I sent her a thoughtful present, which she thanked me for repeatedly.
Fast forward to February, and Emma invited me to her wedding in April 2024. Living abroad and starting a new job, I made it clear that I needed advance notice to attend, and thankfully, I managed to make it.
Emma asked me to be part of her wedding entry, and despite our not being very close, I agreed, hoping it would help us build a better relationship. However, just a week before the wedding, I found out she'd been talking negatively about me and my career as a project manager. It stung, but I didn't want to cause drama before her big day, so I kept quiet.
During the wedding weekend, I helped Emma get dressed for her Hindu ceremony, and her mom told me to leave the jewelry as she would handle it later. So, I only packed away the bangles. The entry went smoothly, and I attended the reception without any complaints. However, after the wedding, I chose not to leave a gift, intending to address the hurtful comments privately after the festivities.
Days later, Emma asked me about the missing jewelry, and I told her I hadn't touched it beyond what her mom instructed. Later that day, I saw Emma posting on Facebook about missing jewelry and implying that someone in the family might have taken it. I felt uneasy, especially since her mom and I were the only family members helping her get dressed.
Then things escalated when her sister made comments on the post saying, "we didn't like her anyway." Her mom reached out to me, asking about the bangles, which made me feel like they were singling me out. Even my grandmother called, further cementing that they may have discussed me as a suspect.
Finally, another cousin messaged me saying the jewelry was found boxed up in a car. But Emma refuses to retract her accusations online because she's embarrassed. Feeling betrayed, I chose to cut Emma and her mom out of my life. I deleted them from my socials and blocked their numbers.
Now, my grandma is upset, saying I was unfair for not explaining myself. So am I in the wrong for cutting them off without explanation? Should I have handled the situation differently?
Update is below OP's additional comments. OP added some context in the comments:
OP commented:
I would like to add that Emma and I are first cousins. Jessica, who told me about the update, is a second cousin who is distant from Emma. So it sounds like this was being discussed with everyone but me. Thankful that Jessica heard it and decided to let me know immediately.
BecGeoMom says:
Why would you need to “explain yourself” for something you did not do, and which ended up being a mistake they made and won’t apologize for? That’s just stupid (no offense to grandma).
Emma should be embarrassed. She jumped to an incredibly wrong conclusion, and damned you online and in person to other relatives, blaming you with no proof. Now she won’t tell people she made a mistake and was wrong. She’s a sh%t person. Your aunt is just as bad. Did either of them call you to apologize?
"Should I have handled the situation differently?" You didn’t need to handle it at all. You did literally nothing, and they called you a thief. They should have handled it very differently. NTA (Not the A^%#ole)
OP responded:
No, no apologies from their end. All I've heard since was "she's embarrassed to pull her posts and say she found it"
PuddleLilacAgain says:
NTA. "Now, my grandma is upset, saying I was unfair for not explaining myself." Good ol' victim blaming here.
OP responded:
Emma is grandma's favorite btw (if you couldn't tell).
OP provided an update:
Last night, I called Grandma and Emma on a three-way call, asking about the jewelry that was CONVENIENTLY FOUND in a car. Emma said, "That wasn't for me to find out as she only told her mother and Grandma" (obviously a lie because Jessica heard and passed it to me; she also lives abroad and isn't close to Emma). Grandma then said, "Well, it's material, and it's found. We don't have a long time here, let's all get along."
I responded, "No, thank you. I needed a PUBLIC apology because I blindly believed Emma and I had a good relationship. I even heard she made comments about my job, which I wanted to address AFTER the wedding."
Emma confirmed the comments about talking sh%t (regarding my job and her sister's comment) but is sticking to her guns about the jewelry. I mentioned to her that I was posting on Facebook about the jewelry and would attach screenshots to it. And that I wanted nothing further to do with Emma since she was not remorseful and is proud of disliking me for whatever reason.
What do you think?