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'I destroyed my ex-BF's legos and gave him one week to move out because threw away my bear.' UPDATED

'I destroyed my ex-BF's legos and gave him one week to move out because threw away my bear.' UPDATED

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We all have our breaking point, a red line that can't be crossed in a relationship.

"I destroyed my ex-boyfriend's lego sets and gave him one week to move out after he threw away my teddy bear."

I 24F have been living with my 25M now ex-boyfriend for about 8 months now. I have a teddy bear that my grandmother gave to me when I was younger. It has no monetary alum but the sentimental value is more important. When I was 8 she gave it to my while she was struggling with c*ncer. It was stage 4 and spread quickly and there was nothing they could do.

She gave me a teddy bear and told me to take care of it and I could talk to the teddy bear whenever I missed her. She got one of those talking mics put in it and it would say “I hope you’re feeling loved today because I love you more than all the stars in the sky and all the fish in the sea and you mean the world to me” she would say that all time when I would spend the night.

He knows how much it means to me. I told him. He’s seen me hugging the bear and sitting outside to talk to my grandma when I was sad or just needed to vent without judgement or even a response. Two days ago he decided that it was “raggedy” and “not appealing to look at” I can admit, bear bear has been through it. I carried it around with me everywhere for 2 years.

He would go in my book bag when I went to school, went to dance class with me, he even went out of town when I had cheer meets when I got into high school. My cousin pulled out one of his eyes when I was 10, and he’s missing an arm when my brother got mad at me and cut it off. It was sewn back on and then ripped off again. You get it. But he was mine.

I found a button that was exactly like his from some bear at a Good Will and was going to sew it in his eye. I went to my room (we have separate bedrooms, I can decorate my space how I want and have my work space and the same for him but we always sleep together, I never had my own room and have only been living alone for two years so I want to keep that for a while).

I went in there to do it and he wasn’t on my bed. I went scouring for him for hours and he watched me. I started to cry because that was the last thing she gave me and she made special for me. He finally told me he threw it away because it was disgusting and he hated coming in my room and seeing it. I got so mad and I felt so betrayed.

He likes to spend time on legos and building them. He’s built the Eiffel Tower, the Harry Potter tower, a cherry blossom tree, and dozens of other. I went to his room and I destroyed them all. I threw the pieces around the room and out the window and in the garbage. He came in screaming at me and saying how dare I touch his things he bought with his money and he spent hours on it.

I told him he can gtfo and spend hours rebuilding it some place else because I’m done with him. He started telling me I was overreacting and whatever else. I forget a lot of the argument because I was pissed. I told him he had 1 week to get his things out and move out but he wasn’t staying here while it happened. He started telling me that I couldn’t do that and he paid bills.

I told him I really don’t give a shit and to get out or I’d call the p*lice. We have mutual friends and he’s told them a completely different story because two have texted me asking “how could I do that to him” and I really don’t care to clear it up.

In the moment I didn’t feel bad but now I kind of do because that’s his hobby but I was so hurt and betrayed by what he did. He’s even called me a few times saying he’ll get me another and we can work on things and don’t throw away 3 years over a mistake but I am completely disgusted by him.

The commenters did not hold back.

myoldisnew wrote:

Unforgivable that he threw your bear out. Not being sarcastic. It shows he had no empathy or compassion at all. Be glad you see that now. You broke his prize Legos? Not your proudest moment, but an eye for an eye.

OP responded:

After I calmed down I did feel really bad. I did go pick out all the Lego pieces…I know it won’t make up for it and I’m not trying to really but I do feel like I could have been calmer in this situation.

AHC444 wrote:

Could you possibly track it down?? Does he know where he threw it

OP responded:

He said in the dumpster but I live in an apartment with dozens of other tenants. It’s been two days and garbage day is on Friday so I could go in there and look for it… but that’s three days worth of trash so.

OrganicandRefined wrote:

NTA, and...I'm sorry for your loss.

I hope someday you will be able to look back on this moment as your grandmother giving you one last gift: seeing this person for who he really is, and being able to walk away from a person who would do something so terrible.

OP responded:

That actually makes me feel a bit better…I hate I had to lose the bear to see it but wow… this was good to read.

Big-Net9971 wrote:

He doesn't respect you - it's that simple. Sadly. You gave him a small taste of disrespect in reply, and he melted down. He can fuck right off. Into. The. Sun. As for your friends, send them a short note that says, "He intentionally destroyed the last thing my grandmother gave me before she died, which I prized and loved, knowing full well what it meant to me."

"Now you ask HIM how he could do that to ME, and see what he says..." I'm sorry for the loss of your bear and your love, but this guy was terrible. Don't go back to him, don't help him at all. No pieces of Lego. Nothing until he gives you back what he ripped away knowing full well how it would hurt you.

Dear_Parnsip6802 wrote:

He's shown that he really doesn't get you, not the deep inside you that cherished that bear, otherwise he never would have thrown out your bear. It shows lack of empathy and understanding. Has he even apologised and acknowledged how deeply he hurt you?

OP responded:

He hasn’t apologized, just said he’ll buy me another and he didn’t mean to upset me but no genuine apology.

A day later, OP shared an update.

UPDATE: I want to say thank you to all the people who told me not to give up on finding my bear because I went out in that dumpster for three hours with my sister, my best friend, and even a neighbor came down to help when I told him what happened. And I f#$king found it. I am so relieved and beyond happy.

Also I love all the men calling me crazy and he dodged a bullet and I committed a crime and he should call the p*lice/take me to court as if he didn’t go into my personal space because he didn’t like MY PROPERTY IN MY PERSONAL SPACE. He’s lucky that’s all I did and I didn’t sue him for it. Men are telling me I committed a crime as if he didn’t…that I’m crazy for destroying his things.

But he isn’t…that I’m immature for being upset that he threw the last thing I have of my grandmother out…but he can buy replicas of the same Harry Potter LEGO set until the day he dies if he wants to but I’m the worst person to ever walk this planet. It’s insane. Anyway, I found it, he’s air drying, I’m going to sew the button in this weekend, my dad and brother will be here while he gets his stuff. That’s that.

I’m free of someone who doesn’t respect my space or how I feel. Oh and I didn’t come here to ask if I was an AH. I don’t care if I was lol. Now that I found my bear I really don’t care and can’t wait to have my apartment to myself again.

Oh one more thing I did tell our mutual friends what he did, I took a picture of all of us digging through the trash to find my bear, I took a picture of the bear and the state he was in after I found him and told them “thank you for taking his side and not even trying to figure out the full situation. He threw away my property so I took away his hobby.”

I also sent the texts of him begging me to take him back and admitted what he did. How he watched me cry for hours while I looked for it knowing he threw it out. He watched me be distressed and didn’t care. Those friends have texted me saying he said I cheated on him and when he didn’t take me back I went “crazy”

Commenters were glad to hear an update.

chivasgoyo wrote:

I wish we could see the bear. I bet it's super cute. I like old things.

OP responded:

When he dries off I will DM you a picture. He really doesn’t even look bad so why he threw him out because he was “raggedy” is crazy. He’s not in the best condition…but he’s a cutie lol

doddballer wrote:

42 year old male...I still have a teddy bear my mother gave me when I was a baby. If anyone threw it away, I might consider m*rder. You dodged the b*llet.

OP responded:

Maybe if all the men see you saying it they’ll stop calling me crazy lmao. I don’t care if they do, it Just goes to show no one cared that he threw something away that was important to me but my reaction was too much. I could have done worse.

dmitchell_1992 wrote:

What a jerk😡 Glad you broke up with him. That is such a cruel thing that he did.

Gorditapollo wrote:

Sounds fair to me. You are in the ‘Good For Her’ category for sure. Nice shiny spine.

Sources: Reddit
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