"AITA for not getting my dad's girlfriend's kids anything for Christmas?"
I am a 17-year-old male spending Christmas with my dad this year, from December 23 to December 27. I do not live with him. I live with my grandparents, who are his parents. They have been my guardians since my mom died when I was 8. My dad lost custody of me before that, my mom left him when I was 4.
I had supervised visitation with him until I was 10. After that, he was allowed some extended overnight visits. Christmas was one of them. I also had to stay with him for six days every summer and do one overnight within a week of my birthday.
I do not like the visitation schedule, and my grandparents and I have tried to end it for the past three years. However, the judge and CPS say it is in my best interest. Last year, I refused to go to his house for Christmas, and there were serious consequences.
He took my grandparents to court, they had to pay a fine for not following the court order, and the court and CPS said that since my dad is sober, he would be considered a viable custodial option if there were any further refusals to comply with the order.
I thought that was unreasonable because I was 16 at the time, but legally and biologically he is still my parent, even though he does not have custody. So I follow the court order and go when I am required to. This is the last year, and I cannot wait to be finished with this situation.
Here is the reason I am posting. My dad has a girlfriend. She lives with him, I think, or she may just be staying there with her kids for Christmas. The kids are not his. When I arrived yesterday, my dad asked where the gifts for the kids were. I told him I did not bring any.
My dad and his girlfriend were shocked and upset. He told me to go out and buy gifts for them, but I refused. He said he would make me go today, but I do not plan to do it. I am not spending money on these kids.
His girlfriend told me that I knew they would be there and that I should have bought something for them because they are young, ages 4, 5, and 7. I know that when they wake up on Christmas morning, they will be excited and expecting gifts. I am determined not to spend anything on them. Does that make me the AH?
Here's what people had to say to OP:
hidingunderyourbed- says:
No? They’re not your kids.
Inside-Property-4579 says:
I am so sick and tired of the courts telling kids the don’t know their own mind! I am so sorry you have to suffer one more holiday with them. You are NTA.
OP responed:
Thank you. I get so frustrated when I see online that other kids as young as 12 can say no to this, but here I am with only months left until I turn 18, and if I do not go, it could cause serious problems during the last few months before my birthday and cost my grandparents money. It feels unreal.
I was even reading about people getting arrested over situations like this involving teens ages 15 to 17, and I could not believe it. A CPS worker told me they need to promote a relationship with my dad so it can continue when I turn 18. But I was never planning to maintain any contact with him once I am 18. I plan to block him everywhere, possibly change my number, and be completely done.
Competitive_Ninja668 says:
NTA. I wouldn’t spend one penny on them. I’m sorry your dad sucks. In your shoes, I’d probably fake illness and stay in bed.
What do you think?