"AITA for not giving my late friend’s daughter a college fund?"
"AITA for not giving my late friend’s daughter a college fund?"
Glittering-Aside8149 writes:
I (54M) lost a good childhood friend seven years ago. We weren’t best friends or anything, but he was my classmate and a good guy. I once helped him out by taking on a case for him completely free since I’m a lawyer. It went on for about two years, but we won it. He wasn’t the most financially stable person, so I didn’t take any payment from him.
He had one daughter who’s now 17. Recently, she reached out to me on my personal Facebook. I didn’t know who she was at first, so she introduced herself and said she was my old friend’s daughter.
She said she never forgot how I helped her late dad with his case and wanted to thank me. I told her it was fine and there was no need to thank me. She kept asking about life and other things, which felt a little strange, and eventually, she asked if I could help her with college. She said her mom couldn’t help her financially.
I told her I was sorry, but I couldn’t do that since I’m currently putting three of my own kids through college, and two of them in medical school. I can’t afford to take on another, and I told her honestly that she’s a stranger to me and that I’m not a charity. She said she understood, thanked me again for helping her dad, and never messaged me again.
I told my wife about it, and she said I was too harsh on the poor girl. She thinks the girl was probably scared and stressed, and she told me I should apologize to her. Should I apologize?
Here's what people had to say to OP:
Brownie-0109 says:
You probably could have stopped at telling her you’re putting three kids through school and wished her luck. And, no, don’t follow up with her.
PsiBlaze says:
NTA. Guarantee that her mother put her up to this.
karrynme says:
Just let it go. I’m less sympathetic after getting my kids through college. They’re not the smartest kids ever, but both got into state schools and received generous financial aid packages through FAFSA (no loans, just grants).
I’m a single parent and not particularly wealthy. They also worked to help cover costs and didn’t live at home. Since completing their undergraduate degrees, they’ve all gone on to graduate school. The daughter can figure it out, there’s money out there.
cassowary32 says:
NTA. Though I wonder if her mom put her up to this. She really shouldn't be contacting strangers asking for large sums of money. She might get herself into a dangerous situation if she contacts a less scrupulous person.