EchoEnigmaa writes:
My sister (27F) and I (25F) have always had a bit of a rocky relationship. Nothing out of the ordinary about sister dramas. But this would be our biggest argument ever. I'm not sure if it's my fault, but I own a fairly new, reliable car that I've taken great care of, and I'm pretty proud of it.
My sister's car, on the other hand, is older and has been having a lot of issues lately. I don't mean to demean her about that, just trying to picture out why she decided to borrow my car as she's planning a road trip next month with her friends. Normally, I wouldn't mind lending her my car for a day or two, but this trip is for over a week, and it would leave me without transportation.
What really made me hesitant, though, was something she had said about me recently. We were talking about our lives and future plans, and she made several remarks about my lifestyle. I'm currently freelancing and enjoying the flexibility it offers me, plus I'm not close to planning to have a family yet so I am single, alone, and I love my job and current setup.
But she implied that my job is not "real" and that I'm not thinking about my future seriously. This hurt me quite a bit, as I value my independence and am proud of what I've achieved on my own.
When she asked to borrow my car, I reminded her of her comments and told her that if she doesn't respect my choices or lifestyle, then I don't feel comfortable doing her such a big favor. She got really upset, saying that I'm petty and selfish. She argued that family should help each other out regardless of personal opinions.
Our parents think I should just let her borrow the car to keep the peace, and while I do agree that family should help each other, I feel like this is about more than just the car. I don't feel valued and supported, so why would I go out of my way to support her? Should I be the bigger person and eat up her slight belittling? AITA?
Here are the top comments from the post:
Comfortable-Sea-2454 says:
NTA (Not the A#%^ole) - your sister's lack of reliable transportation is not your problem. "Normally, I wouldn't mind lending her my car for a day or two, but this trip is for over a week, and it would leave me without transportation."
"Our parents think I should just let her borrow the car to keep the peace and while I do agree that family should help each other I feel like this is about more than just the car. I don't feel valued and supported so why would I go out of my way to support her?" She can borrow your parents car if she needs to, or she can rent one.
diminishingpatience says:
NTA. Tell her that you have to be careful with your possessions as you don't have a "real" job.
squigs says:
NTA. Regardless of her criticism, she is in no way entitled to borrow your car. Leaving you without a car for over week is a big ask.
Did you know there are companies that will lend you a car for as long as you need, in exchange for money? Or your parents could lend her their car if they have one. Since she has her lifestyle sorted out, perhaps it's time for her to exchange that clunker for something more reliable.
GapApprehensive3184 says:
NTA. People need to stop planning road trips when they dont have a reliable vehicle to do it in. Seeing so many post about AITA for not loaning my car so someone can ho have fun.
Spiritual-Bridge3027 says:
Even without the backstory, DO NOT loan your vehicle to anyone else for a trip out of town. If something happens to the vehicle because of their mishandling or an accident, you can kiss your vehicle goodbye because insurance won’t cover it. AND you can be sure these people won’t reimburse you either. NTA.
What do you think? Should OP have let her sister use her car?