'AITA for not letting someone rub my belly so my pregnancy would rub off on her?'
"AITA for telling a stranger she couldn’t touch my belly after she followed me around a wedding hoping my pregnancy would rub off on her?"
Dazzling-Two426 writes:
I (31F) went to a wedding over the weekend with my husband. I'm currently 34 weeks pregnant. At our table, we were seated next to a woman I didn’t know. She seemed nice at first and immediately took an intense interest in my pregnancy, asking how far along I was, what symptoms I had, what I was craving, and even what prenatal vitamins I was taking. I thought she was just curious and being chatty.
Eventually, I asked if she had kids or was trying, since she seemed so engaged. She told me she and her partner had been trying for over two years without success. My heart went out to her. I told her I was really sorry to hear that and that I couldn’t imagine how difficult that must be.
She said she had tried everything under the sun, including IVF, treatments, acupuncture, and fertility rituals, but nothing had worked. I truly empathized with her, but then things got uncomfortable.
She started asking exactly how we conceived. She asked things like, “Was it morning or night?” “What sex position did you use?” “Did you orgasm?” “What were you eating that day?” and “Was it a full moon?” I tried to laugh it off and give vague answers, then shifted my attention to my husband and the rest of the table.
But she wouldn’t let it go. She started following me around the reception. When I got up to go to the bar, the photo booth, or the dance floor, she was right there. At one point, she told me, “I’ve been trying to spend more time around pregnant women lately. I read that being near them and in their energy can help fertility. I’m hoping some of it will rub off.”
I didn’t know what to say. I gave her an awkward smile and excused myself, feeling really weirded out. I thought that was the end of it. It wasn’t. I went to the bathroom at some point, and when I walked out, she was standing outside the door.
As soon as she saw me, she quickly turned on the sink like she had just walked in, even though it was clear she had been standing there waiting. As I was drying my hands, she stepped beside me and said, “Can I touch your belly?”
Before I could even respond, her hand was already reaching toward me. I instinctively stepped back and said, as gently and politely as I could, “I’m really sorry, but I don’t feel comfortable with people touching my belly.” I even smiled to soften it.
She looked so upset. She didn’t say a word. She just walked out of the bathroom without looking back. Back at the table, she avoided eye contact with me for the rest of the night. When we said goodbye at the end of the evening to everyone at our table, she completely ignored me.
On the ride home, I told my husband everything, and he was shocked. He said her behavior was completely inappropriate and that I should have shut it down or asked him to come with me to the bathroom and wait outside. I told him I didn’t want to make things awkward and had no idea she would follow me there.
Honestly, the more I think about it, the more creeped out I feel about what happened. But I am also feeling a little guilty. Maybe I was too cold. Maybe she is just hurting and desperate, and I added to her pain. So, AITA for refusing to let her touch me? I checked with the bride. Neither she nor the groom has any clue who she is. We think she was likely a wedding crasher.
Here are some of the reactions to OP's post.
Miraclesses says:
NTA. That woman was being a straight-up creep and you handled it way better than most people would. Following you around thinking pregnancy is "contagious," asking about your sex positions, and then waiting outside the bathroom like a stalker?
That's unhinged behavior, not grief. Infertility is heartbreaking but it doesn't give someone the right to treat you like a magical fertility object. You were actually incredibly polite considering she was basically harassing you all night. Don't feel guilty for having basic boundaries about your own body.
Key-Phone-3648 says:
You are always allowed to have your own body autonomy and consent. Unfortunately, I think this woman has become too obsessive. I genuinely fear for her mental health. I'm also wondering where the heck her partner was. NTA for sure.
Agoraphobe961 says:
NTA. Tell the bride/groom to under no circumstances are they to give any of your contact information to this chick if she asks them, this is follow the mom home and cut the baby out of her stomach level of creepy.
BigMarsEnergy says:
NTA. Ninety percent odds her husband has had a secret vasectomy to keep this nut from ever conceiving.