'AITA for not letting my ex-husband and his stepson use the bathroom in my house?' UPDATED
"AITA for not letting my ex-husband and one of his future step kids come inside?"
BonusWest5031 writes:
Our custody arrangement is for each of us to pick the kids up on our day during our two-hour pickup window. He arrived at the house, and I already had the boys ready. I saw his car pull into the driveway on my camera, so the boys were already halfway to the door when my ex knocked. I opened the door, and he was holding the hand of a four-year-old. He asked to come in and said his fiancée’s son needed to use the bathroom.
I told him I didn't want him to come inside because I don't feel comfortable with him in my house. He has a history of snooping through my things. He asked me to take his future stepson to the bathroom, and I said I was uncomfortable with the situation. He said his stepson needed to pee. I suggested the McDonald's up the road. He said my bathroom would be way cleaner than a McDonald's.
At this point, my eleven-year-old started pestering his dad to stop so they could leave. My ex said, "Your brother needs to use the bathroom." My son said, "I'll take him." My ex said, "No, your mother would rather he pee his pants. We'll go, and hopefully we'll get to the McDonald's in time."
My ex and the boys left. He messaged me afterward saying I was cruel to a child to punish him, and that's not okay. He said I made us both look bad in front of our kids and should be embarrassed by my actions. I have been fighting with him for so long that my perspective is screwed up. Was I in the wrong?
OP posted an update about a week later.
I did talk to my lawyer about what happened. He said we can address it at the hearing we already have scheduled about the movie situation. I thought that was that, but of course, it was my turn to pick up the kids today.
When I arrived at my ex's place, he opened the door very wide and invited me in. I was suspicious and said no thank you. He kept insisting I come in so we could show the kids we are civil, but I had a bad feeling.
I said I would just wait in the car for the boys to come out. I got in my car and texted my older son that I was there. A short while later, he texted me back saying his dad said they couldn't leave unless I got them.
I went back to the door and knocked again. Again, my ex invited me inside. I said I didn't want to come in, and that was when my boys showed up. My ex's fiancée was right behind them, telling them to come back upstairs. They ran to me, and we left. I don't know what his game is, but I'm not falling for it, whatever it is.
Here are some of the comments on OP's update.
HUNGWHITEBOI25 says:
OP I truly cannot emphasize this more: DOCUMENT LIKE CRAZY. I don't know if this was going to turn into them just yelling/scolding you for some made up BS or something else but regardless you need to let your lawyer know. Good luck cause things with this psychopath are not going to get better soon.
eternally_feral says:
NTA. He was way too insistent for you to come in and then refusing to let your kids leave? No. Always follow your gut, especially when the spider is so persistent in inviting the fly into the parlor.
Glyphwind says:
I would start recording your exchanges.
mustang19671967 says:
Make a note and send it to lawyer, basically kidnapping your kids . All meetings are now at a public location, so don't pick McDonald’s or a place where the kids will want and expect junk food. No more pick ups at house and don’t even get out of your car.