I rent out my basement suite to Sally, the daughter of my mom's best friend. I've known her since childhood, and I used to babysit her. The basement has two means of escape other than through my living area. It is fully up to code as an in-law suite, so there's no reason for anyone to enter my space.
While on vacation, I deadbolted the door to my basement. Three days into my vacation, I received an alert on my phone about an unauthorized event at my house. Upon checking the video, I saw my mom opening the door for Sally's mom, and they panicked when the alarm went off.
Usually, if I need my mom to access my apartment, I give her a temporary code, which is always the same due to her tech confusion. However, I can't activate it retroactively, and the only option would be to call her and give her my personal code.
Upon checking the house cameras, I found no emergencies; my house wasn't on fire, and there was no water running unnecessarily. Here's where I may have been in the wrong: Upon realizing they were just messing around in my area for no reason, I put my phone on airplane mode and resumed my vacation.
About 90 minutes later, the resort concierge informed me of an urgent call. My dad had recorded my whereabouts, and they called the front desk for me. I excused myself and took the call. I asked my mom what the emergency was and if everything at home was okay. She abruptly told me to talk to the cops and the security patrol.
After speaking with them and apologizing for the false alarm, I asked what prompted my mother's intrusion into my house. They handed the phone back to her, and she explained that her friend didn't want to stay in the basement while visiting her daughter. So, my mom agreed to let them use my area secretly.
I requested the security company to lock my house back up and take my key back from my mother. She started to protest, but I hung up. I enjoyed the rest of my trip, and my dad has agreed to cover any fines or penalties resulting from the false alarm.
Sally's mom wants her to move out, which is fine with me since I don't need a tenant and was only doing it as a favor. Sally is almost begging me not to evict her, claiming she had no idea what our moms were up to until the alarm went off.
My mom is upset that I wasn't immediately available to bail them out and furious that I won't give her back my key. She thinks I did it on purpose, but I'm not sure how she thinks I forced her to break into my home without permission. So, am I the a#%^ole for making them sweat until they got hold of me and for taking my key back since I can't trust her now?
Here are the top comments:
NTA (Not the A%@$ole). Your mom and mom's friend chose to ignore your boundaries. Mom used a key meant only for emergencies to break into your property, when there was no emergency (just entitlement). These are the consequences of her actions. I don't blame you for putting your phone in airplane mode while at an important event. Not your mess, not your problem.
I wouldn't kick Sally out if she doesn't want to go though, she's an adult and can make her own choices. Just remind her if she has visitors she needs to remind them to stay on her side of the property line.
You did do it on purpose though. You saw her on the camera, knew that she'd get in trouble and turned your phone off to teach her a lesson. For that, I applaud you.
She took liberties with your private property and personal space and didn't even see the problem with that enough to make up an excuse. She had absolutely no business there and I would say that it wasn't a false alarm at all. She wasn't supposed to be there and thats why the alarm went off - that's what alarms are for. NTA.
NTA - your mom and friend are rude. They deserved what they got. No key for her any time soon. I wouldn’t punish Sally for her mom. It doesn’t sound like Sally was necessarily a part of this. If you have had no issues with her previously - let her stay, but just again express you know she knows, but your home is off limits when you are not there/not invited in.
NTA your mother took liberties that were not hers to take and did so behind your back. She's earned the consequences of her actions. If her friend has such an issue then she should have taken the friend and daughter back to her house for tea and cookies instead of breaking into your home.
What do you think? Was OP right to take her mom's key back and evict Sally?