'I didn't actively seek this revenge. My ex who refused to do admin asked for it.' UPDATED

"I didn't seek this revenge, you asked for it."

So like the title says I only gave him what he Asked For. And it was definitely petty. So I was married to a very manly man for 17 years. I ended up doing all the "admin" tasks and mental load tasks. He had a money-earning job and I did everything else, even schedule this man's dental appointments and buy his parent's birthday cards.

(At first it was fine, but eventually not so much, and he refused to change so things came to a head and ended.) I'm sure after I left he was unpleasantly surprised to discover how much work his assistant did.

Anyway, it's been 5 years, we have our own lives and I don't think about him much and we certainly don't talk. But one day I start getting calls from him. He explains to me that he never removed me from his home and auto insurance and says "they won't remove you unless you call."

He is pissy and keeps calling me and saying I have to do this right away and being very rude (it's been 5 years and now it's an emergency??? Ok.) He ends up calling me every day for a week and saying I've "created a problem" for him (???) I called the company and the woman on the phone says "no, we totally would have removed you he never asked. I can see there is no record of him calling ever."

Oh really? She then says "you know moving him from married to a single man this is going to raise his rate CONSIDERABLY... Is he sure this is important to him?" I laughed. "Oh yes very important. In fact I haven't lived there for 5 years so his current policy should really be back dated." She laughs and says yes he's now going to get a large bill. Not my problem anymore.

EDIT: Okay since apparently this matters to people, I'm assuming the agent meant for the current contract/policy which means just this year. I honestly didn't ask bc I don't really care and that wasn't why I called them.

And yes he is under 40, so I think maybe that effects it, but again I didn't ask. I don't spend a lot of brain power on this guy anymore. I do think ppl are probably right about him having a new girl that was upset lol

Here's what people had to say to OP:

[deleted] wrote:

GOOD FOR YOU! I did something similar once. A girl I worked with had a male roommate, just roommates, not FWB. He didn't like her new boyfriend and said he was moving out and scheduled his move out the same weekend she was out of town.

End of the month comes and she gets a HUGE phone bill in the mail, like over $1,500 in long distance calls all over the world. All made while she was out of town. The phone company wouldn't cancel the debt. So I called on her behalf and explained the situation to customer service.

The woman I was speaking to told me there was nothing she could do to cancel the debt but...if the ex-roommate had his own phone number they could transfer the debt to him if he called and told them to. And, once the debt was transferred they couldn't transfer it back. I waited 2 days them called again, said I was him, gave them his new phone number and asked to have the debt transferred.

Timely_Negotion35 wrote:

Not that I don't love the consequences, because I do; but I work in insurance. We aren't allowed to remove a named insured from a policy without that person's consent. An additional insured, yes, but not a named insured. You don't know how many times people have gotten pissy with me because I'm not willing to put my producers license in jeopardy for them.

honest_stop_4174 wrote:

I love this. We have a homestead credit in our state. When I got divorced I removed it from our joint house to my new property. The township mistakenly removed it all together. My ex never bothered with any bill paying, taxes etc.

So he ignored the notice of higher taxes. Then he got the actual bill which was several thousand more. He was able to correct it going forward but had to pay the higher taxes and it also permanently increased his taxes. He was so angry at me about it but it was his own fault. I didn’t feel one bit sorry for him.

Stormandsunshine wrote:

What an a**hat! Update when this absolute manchild whines to you about how this is all your fault.

Niodia wrote:

Guarantee it's an issue because of a new woman in his life looking at the names on the bills.

Awhile later, OP shared an update:

Soooo y'all were right! It never occurred to me that he'd be suddenly concerned my name was on the Progressive car/home insurance bill because of a new girl, but that was ABSOLUTELY why. I have full legal and physical custody of the kids and he doesn't have anything to do with them (his choice.)

But our son recently had a minor surgery and of course insurance has been giving us the runaround even after pre-approving the procedure. (Thanks, United! Great job.) He's the primary insurance holder due to his job so I can only do so much. So I had to call him and ask him to call them even though I already did all the paperwork.

(Being a grownup is so awesome btw.) Normally he told me to just use his signature and info because he can't be bothered, but I can't do a man's voice. And yes, everyone who thought I probably know his social and stuff I absolutely do, plus his parents' birthdates etc. He doesn't even remember his own kids' birthdays.

When we were on the phone he suddenly started ranting about how expensive everything is, how he's sooooo broke, because he bought a brand new car and then suddenly had a pipe burst and it cost him a fortune to fix the kitchen wall and floor and part of the garage.

So that tells me he needed to access the insurance -- but then he starts telling me how awesome his new girl is because she "stepped up" and put money into the house! The house he now tells me she lives in rent free.

Idk pitching in in that case seems like the least someone could do? But okay not my business. I just don't really know why he thinks I'll be a sympathetic ear to the situation. 🙄

I was like "yeah okay well text me when you've called United so I can call the hospital back, BYE." I don't have a lot of sympathy because this man makes over $120,000 per year and pays $20k of that in child support for 3 kids he hasn't seen in a year.

And he's too busy going on vacations to even call or text them. So I don't really give a shit if his pipes burst. I hope new younger model woman gave him an earful for still having my name on everything. And I hope Progressive sends him a HUGE bill on that brand new car. Huh this situation really brought out the pissy in me 😂 Ah well.

Here's what people had to say to OP's update:

ThisisthetimetoREM wrote:

There is no reason he should pay such little child support. Why haven’t you filed for the legal amount?

OP responded:

LOL that's what the judge ordered. Child support amounts vary from state to state. And it's not easy. Trust me, I spent over 20k fighting just to get this. At this point, I'm focused on raising my kids to be healthy, well adjusted, empathetic and educated humans.

I don't have more energy to go after him. I wish I didn't even have to talk to him at all. I do wish he'd at least talk to his kids, bc even an AH dad is better than abandonment, but I can't control him.

Fewtelevision3921 wrote:

A friend's ex, who rarely gave any more than mandated by law but did use visitation unless it got in the way of his new family, even if plans had been made with the children. And when they turned 18 supports stopped that day except for modest Xmas/birthday presents. When they went to college there was no help with tuition or books, not even a pencil.

But to top it off, the new spouse saw that the children were still covered on his health insurance. So, he has them taken off so they got no more support of any kind from him, even though it cost no more as he had family insurance.

LibraryMouse4321 wrote:

I can’t wait to hear what happens when he gets the huge bill. And I hope it’s huge! I believe that if he signs a paper from the insurance company, they will allow you to deal with your children and their medical care. But that might just be for giving you permission to access your children’s records after they turn 18. You can look into it.

Dru-baskadam wrote:

Here is a tip for handling the insurance so you don’t have to go through him.

There are 2 ways to do this.

He can sign a form for each child stating that you can get info for the kids. It is called a release of information form or is sometimes called a PHI form. Usually you can print them from the website. He can fill them out & send them in.

You can fill out a copy of the form & send in a copy of the court order that states you have custody of your kiddos and that you need access to their insurance to ask questions about their claims, etc. You may need to call their customer service line to see exactly what info they need from the court. But this will allow you to get info without having to deal with him.

Another option is when you call, ask the rep to call him & get verbal permission to speak with you. This will only be for the call, but you will at least be able to handle the issue. Alternatively, you can ask the insurance company if he can leave verbal permission for the day. So he could call in the morning to give the OK, and you could call later in the day to ask questions. Hope this helps a bit.