'AITA for refusing to let my husband see our baby after he accused me of cheating.'

"AITA for not showing our son to my husband after birth because he left me when I was pregnant?"

TraditionalPause7723 writes:

I'm 34F. My husband, 36M, has a job that requires him to stay away from home for weeks, even months because of traveling. I found out I was pregnant when he was away for a month already. I thought he would be very happy; we were trying for a baby, and he has always wanted to be a father. But he didn't say anything. After a week or so when he came back, he was furious at me.

When he had gone for the trip, the next day one of my old high school friends, who is a photographer now, came to town for some reason. He wanted me to show him around the town so he could snap some pics.

He had said it's not for work but the town looks good; he might be able to make some good stuff out of it. I was very happy to see him; he's not an easy person to get a hold of. I drove him around the whole day. I had hugged him before he was going back.

Someone had snapped a picture of that time and sent it to my husband. Later, I found out it was his aunt. She is one lazy, single, and bitter woman. She puts her nose in everything.

So this is what happened when he was on his trip. The day he came back, he was furious at me. He said I was cheating on him. I explained everything, but he didn't believe me. I had also tried to contact my friend, but he had disappeared again.

My husband's aunt came to our house and said that the authentic necklace my friend gifted me was "proof that I was selling myself to rich guys behind his back." This caused a big fight between her and me. I told him it's not like that at all. It's probably not even very expensive from the country he bought it; it's just a souvenir. I'm not cheating on him.

In the end, no one believed me. My husband kicked me out of the house. I was a crying mess by then. I requested him to let me stay the night; it was going to be dark soon. He said he's sure the baby isn't his; he wasn't with me for a month.

With that, he had pushed me out. I had seriously thought I was going to fall and get hurt. My parents were out of town; I didn't have any trusted friends in town whom I could stay the night with. I didn't have any money on me at the time either.

He knew all this but still closed the door in my face. I called my brother, who lived in the other town. He drove four hours straight. I was sitting on my house door this whole time, in the cold. He ignored me this whole time.

When my brother reached there, he looked really angry. He might have done something to my husband if I hadn't pulled him away, saying I was really cold and needed to get somewhere to warm up.

After that, my husband went totally NC with me and my family members. I could only get a hold of him through his coworker Ali. But he told him that he just needs some space "to heal." He didn't ask about me throughout the whole pregnancy.

But he did make posts about "his wife cheating on him" on FB and posted pictures with random girls. I don't know who they are; he never answered my texts or calls. He can't see me right now. And I will be getting the divorce papers soon too.

He wasn't there at the birth of my boy. He didn't come even after three days, even though I made sure to inform him. My brother had to go to his house and bring him. Then they did a paternity test, and "surprisingly" it's his. Who could have known!

He's been apologizing since then. I haven't shown him the baby yet; I don't think I will. He's saying he made a mistake, he really loves me. He will make it up to me. I told him I'm not buying it. He says I can't keep his baby from him; it's his baby, he has a right to see it. Am I the AH for keeping his baby from him?

Here are the top comments:

Crystal010Rose says:

NTA (Not the A^#@ole). Yes, he has a right to see his son. And he is very welcome to get this right established by court. Just as you should go to court to get what is rightfully yours: your belongings that were in the house, probably half of the marital assets and child support.

This man kicked you out, let you sit in the cold without any money and without caring about your wellbeing for 4 (!!!) hours - probably longer if you hadn’t been picked up. He had it in his mind that you cheated and wasn’t even interested in a prenatal paternity test.

Sure, he apologizes now, but just because the kid is his how does he suddenly not believe you cheated? None of it made sense. It sounds more like he didn’t want to be a father. But the reasons don’t matter. What matter is he proved he is NOT a safe person. Which is why you should keep your distance. He was cruel, there is no reason to believe he won’t be again.

Start the divorce process. Get what is rightfully yours. Apply for child support, he can then decide if he wants to petition for custody. That’s up to him. You don’t have to make the process of seeing his child easy for him - especially as the non-court way gets him out of child support, I bet that’s partly his agenda. With his actions, he forfeited the right to any concessions or courtesy on your part.

abgry_krakow97 says:

NTA, the fact that he reacted so callously based on some picture taken by some bitter aunt that was completely out of context. The dude acted like a complete child over it all, didn't even bother to try and act like an adult.

Then he left you and your child sitting alone out in the cold for hours. If he can't even be bothered to act rationally enough to at least collect more information before making such life changing behavorial actions, then he is not someone you want to spend your life with.

You are in your full right to divorce him and pursue full spousal and child support from him while limiting contact. The dude f**ked up big time and needs to understand the consequences of his actions.

Public-Mousse-9048 says:

Start divorce proceedings and use the pics of him with with other women from facebook to show his cheating.

Investigator516 says:

File for divorce and get the money for your suffering and your child. I also smell gaslighting—if he’s gone all the time, he’s likely the unfaithful one.

What do you think?