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'AITA for not policing my friends while we played a board game with my GF on NYE?'

'AITA for not policing my friends while we played a board game with my GF on NYE?'

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"AITA for not interfering during a board game?"

swissboardgamet writes:

This NYE, my girlfriend (30F) and I (37M) went to another couple's house to play board games and have a few drinks. They invited someone else I'm good friends with, Philip (38M), whom I hadn't seen in a few weeks. My girlfriend and I had spent the day together at a spa, running errands, and getting coffee.

Anyway, the night got underway, and we were starting our board game. Nobody else but my girlfriend had played before, so she explained the rules. The board game was Ticket to Ride and was decently complicated to explain, especially to a few drunk adults.

The mood was rowdy and a bit childish, but as expected. I could see she was getting frustrated and annoyed with us, so during a smoke break, I said to Philip to turn it down a notch and for us both to be more thoughtful of the situation.

Although that helped somewhat, they both kept arguing and spoiling the mood, enough for everybody else to tell them to stop bickering. After that, the mood was pretty terrible, but I feel it recovered somewhat. I concentrated on learning the game and paying attention to avoid riling Philip up more. Philip took it easier too and settled in a bit.

My girlfriend was annoyed at people taking too long on their turns, rolling her eyes when we asked for rule clarifications or looked stuff up ourselves, and, to be honest, was terrible at explaining the game in general.

When everybody went outside to celebrate the new year, I got into a huge argument with my girlfriend about how we were ganging up on her, how I wasn't defending her, and how I had been ignoring her all evening (by not sitting next to her).

It got pretty heated, but I told her it wasn't my responsibility how people reacted to her behavior and that I wasn't there to police her or Philip. She said she didn't enjoy our humor and didn't get the constant shooting jokes back and forth where we made fun of each other.

I told her to lighten up—it was a group situation, and we all adapt to it and find a balance. Easier said than done, I guess. She accused me of not sticking up for her and of only joking around with Philip and paying more attention to him than to her.

We finished the game in what I can only describe as silence, and everybody went home. She went home instead of to my place as planned, and I'm pretty upset that New Year's was soured by this and feel there's no reason for it to have gone this way.

Here are the top rated comments with some extra info from OP.

fizzbangwhiz says:

INFO. I'm curious who chose Ticket To Ride and why? Was your girlfriend the one who brought the game and intended to take on the role of game instructor and leader, or was she thrown into that role by default because she was the only one who had played it before?

Had everyone agreed ahead of time that they wanted to play it? Were there other choices of games available and once folks realized how complicated it was, was there a discussion of pivoting to a simpler game?

Because depending on those details I can see at several different scenarios playing out here. Games need to be matched to the vibe and interest level of all participants--there was clearly a mismatch here. Determining whoever is most at fault depends on how this game night started.

OP responded:

She picked the game and suggested it, but don't think she realized it was a bad match for the night. We also didn't know Philip was invited, that was a last minute surprise.

sun_dazzled says:

NAH. From your description, you could tell she was unhappy and did some things to intervene, but also didn't seem to take any of the load off directly by supporting her or helping explain the rules (even if she's the one who played before, you could be backing her up in the moment by shushing folks who are being rude, grabbing a copy of the rules, being the one who repeats things when someone wasn't paying attention, etc).

But she also didn't take what sounds like a hint that this crowd isn't really that into precision and focus and playing the game, and is more into just hanging out and drinking with a game present.

Overall, it sounds like a mismatch of expectation - you say the other adults being drunk and rowdy was "as expected", but that she got annoyed - how confident are you that she knew to expect that and was looking forward to it, versus finding it all very disrespectful and disruptive? Does she usually like gaming with these friends, or is it something she's doing "for you"?

Rottnrobbie says:

ESH. I’ve had plenty of friends like Philip and they’re the kinds of dudes you don’t bring around your GF often because they can be annoying af, especially with alcohol mixed in. And if he had any respect for you he wouldn’t have been bickering with your GF.

Your GF takes herself way too seriously and her attitude only contributed to everyone’s discomfort. She became annoyed early on and never recovered. If it was her idea to play TTR, she sucks especially hard. Next time stick with Cards Against Humanity and enjoy an evening of laughter and good vibes.

What do you think?

Sources: Reddit
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