'AITA for not supporting my dad's original affair partner after he was caught cheating with a new woman?'
"AITA for not offering support to my dad's wife and laughing at her when she asked for it?"
New_Garden_2234 writes:
My dad's wife found out 6 weeks ago that he's been cheating on her for years. They have three kids together and she had no idea he was cheating. His wife, who I'll call Anne for this post, was my dad's affair partner when he was married to my mom.
I was like 8 when we found out. The way we found out was that dad brought Anne over to pick up his stuff because he wanted to move in with her. Neither of them cared that I was there. A few weeks later my mom died (car accident) and I moved in with my dad and Anne, but I didn't look at either of them in a positive light. I still don't and I'm 17 now.
Anne and I butted heads a lot over the years. She would talk about deserving more respect and I told her she was just the lady my dad cheated on mom with and she'd never be more than that in my eyes. I told her I didn't respect her as a person or as a supposed family member.
Dad tried to get me to see him more positively at first but when he realized I'd ask the big questions like why he did that to my mom and me, he stopped trying.
I always assumed he found a new mistress but didn't have proof until a year and a half ago when I saw him with another woman. I said nothing and I carried on waiting for the day she found out. There were times I wanted to rub it in her face, but I didn't. I was laughing at her behind her back and I'll admit that.
When Anne found out she kicked dad out and I moved out with him. This was seen as a controversial choice because Anne wanted me to stay and since everything went down Anne has wanted me to visit her and wanted me to be with her and dad's kids (I'm not close to the kids and don't really care about having a relationship with them).
Last week dad brought me by Anne's place to pick up more of his/our stuff. Anne's family were there and Anne and her family were scolding me for choosing dad over Anne and saying Anne deserved my support. That they couldn't believe I'd pick dad's side over hers. I said I picked neither side.
But Anne means nothing to me so I'm not going to do anything for her. Anne's mom told me Anne was a victim. I told them she cheated with a married man and shouldn't be shocked that he'd do the same to her, because she's nothing special. They kept engaging with me and my dad was taking his sweet time.
Anne decided to talk to me 1:1 and asked me to stand by her and support her and help her give the kids a good life and show we're still a family. I laughed in her face. Anne started to cry. Her family asked her about it and she told them I laughed. They called me disgusting and said I should be ashamed of treating someone in my family that way.
Anne's sister sent me a few DMs before I locked down my socials but she said I should apologize to Anne and be there for her now to make up for my reaction to her. She told me to be a better man and not some pathetic child who blames the woman for stuff. AITA?
Here are the top comments:
diminishingpatience says:
"I told them she cheated with a married man and shouldn't be shocked that he'd do the same to her." That's all there is to say.
SkulledDownundau says:
Well you know the old saying, when a man marries his mistress he opens up a vacancy. It's crazy how affair partners act so shocked that a cheater cheats. If he cheated to be with you then he'll cheat on you. You ain't special. NTA (Not the A^#%ole), I dunno why she was so desperate for your support when you've been obvious in your dislike of her for years. It's like touching a hot stove and being shocked and upset when it burns you.
Samarkand457 says:
NTA. I don't get the sociopath comments. Relishing her pain is a bit cruel, but her and her family expecting you to stand by her and continue living with her is insane. That I would laugh at myself. I bet you were going to cut them both off at 18 anyway.
cassowary32 says:
NTA. How exactly does she expect a 17-year-old to give her kids a good life? With free babysitting? I'm guessing she never adopted you so legally she has no custodial rights to you, it makes sense that you'd leave with your dad.
Did your mom have a will? Any chance that there's an inheritance that you'll have access to when you turn 18? Or is there some sort of trust that they've been drawing on that your dad's wife is hoping to still have access to if you stay?
What do you think?