'AITA for not taking over childcare duties until the kid's parents actually left.'
"AITA for not taking over childcare duties until the parent actually left?"
lala7979 writes:
I (44 F) agreed to watch my nephew (29) and his son (2) for an hour while he took a shower and relaxed. We live in side-by-side duplexes, so it’s easy to pop over and help out. About 30 minutes in, he is still at my place, hanging out and talking.
The baby poops, and I say, “Perfect, you’re still here, you can change him.” He smirks and says, “Nah, I’m not gonna be able to do that,” and starts going on about how he’s got other family members “trained.” He said when he goes to his siblings’ homes, they change the baby even if he’s still there.
I told him, “Look, I change at least two poopy diapers a day. I’m just not gonna do it while you’re standing right here.” (I’m a school nurse and have a couple of students with special needs that I assist with daily.)
He changes the diaper but then spends the next 20 minutes venting—saying how he’s trying to get a break from the baby and how it doesn’t make sense for him to come drop the baby off and still have to do anything. He said next time he’ll just leave right away instead of staying to catch up, or maybe he should’ve just taken the baby back with him.
At one point, he even asked why my mother (who lives in the duplex on the other side of me) couldn’t change the baby, and how she needed to spend more time with him. I was like, “So you think she wants that time to be spent changing a poopy diaper?”
He started raising his voice, and I had to say multiple times, “Just go take your shower. You’re wasting time arguing.” Eventually, he cooled off, took his shower, and came back to pick up the baby. I’m wondering if I’m the asshole because I agreed to watch his child but refused to take over since he hadn't actually left.
For background: I’m a divorced mom. I have a 5-year-old and a 27-year-old. I’ve been parenting for a long time, and I’ve always handled things myself. I was happy to help once he actually stepped out. For context, the child’s mom was also at home but in an online class.
Here are the top rated comments.
ZookeepergameWise774 says:
NTA. I’d have handed the baby back to him and told him to find another babysitter.
Forward-Dingo1431 says:
NTA It sounds like he's a lazy, manipulative, and entitled jerk. Talking about how he's got other family members "trained." I would repeat that statement to all of the "trained" family members he was referring to and let him see how quickly things change. That's his child! Every parent needs a break now and then, but that's just ridiculous.
tiggergirluk76 says:
NTA. If he expected you to be in charge for an hour from the moment he arrived, chatted for half an hour, then vented for another 20 minutes, my response would've been "you now have 10 minutes left to take your shower and come pick up your kid"
ContactNo7201 says:
NTA. How bizarre of him to act this way. How is this behavior going to progress as the baby grows up? Can you imagine when the baby starts walking and could get into things? Will your nephew just ignore the baby and assume someone else is watching? This behavior needs to stop.