'AITA for saving my friend from getting fired, which led to her getting super fired?'
"AITA for not telling my friend she was getting fired and that I saved her job which lead to her getting super fired."
throwawayfiredgirl writes:
I work with my best friend's girlfriend. She and I are friendly, but not really friends. If it weren’t for her relationship with Jeremy, I wouldn’t have gotten close to her. I told her about the job opening and even put in a good word for her.
She wasn’t working out. She tried her best, but she had a personality clash with her supervisor. She was still within the 90-day probationary period, so she was going to be terminated without notice. That’s just how it goes. We regularly hire a large group of people and keep the ones who fit while letting go of those who don’t. In fact, we were letting go of over a dozen people that day.
I know she and Jeremy aren’t doing well financially, so I stepped in and volunteered to take her on my team. It was a lateral move for her. I didn’t really need her, but my boss gives me a lot of autonomy in my department.
I didn’t want to freak her out, so I never told her she hadn’t been working out on her previous team. To say the least, I can understand why things didn’t work out. She is great at the actual job and works hard, but her jobsite personality is extremely difficult. She rubs everyone the wrong way. That includes my own supervisor, who even questioned why I brought her onto my team.
I couldn’t protect her from herself. Originally, she was just going to be terminated, which would have allowed her to reapply in the future. But now she is on the NERF list, which means she is not eligible for rehire.
She really believed I brought her onto my team because we needed her help. In reality, she ended up alienating everyone. Again, she is good at the job and incredibly dedicated, but she is very difficult to work with and brings down morale.
I told Jeremy what happened, and he said he understood. But she is angry. She told me that if I had warned her she was on the chopping block, she would have behaved differently. She thinks it is partly my fault for not giving her a heads-up. I don’t know. I feel bad for her, but she kind of dug her own grave.
People responded to OP's post.
Happiness-to-go says:
YTA. You’re a manager? And you did that? First, you led her on and set her up to fail. Unfairly, because she didn’t know she was failing when you gave her “another chance”. Where is the feedback? Second, you allowed your team’s morale to be hit to prove a point. That is unfair to all your other team members. Sounds to me you didn’t manage her.
A manager is supposed to help staff grow, work together and achieve more collectively than operating individually. You deliberately did the opposite. What you did was try to make yourself look like her savior for Jeremy whilst setting her up to fail to make her look bad. This isn’t about her character, it’s a reflection of yours.
JJOkayOkay says:
"If I knew hurting others would hurt me, then I wouldn't have hurt others! You must be the real problem here!" NTA, she should learn to not be a d^#k and also to not blame others for her being a d&#k.
AccessCrazy9154 says:
NTA. You helped give her a second chance without humiliating her, which was generous. But you're not her manager, her babysitter, or her career coach. She’s an adult. It’s not your responsibility to warn her about basic professionalism. She didn’t get fired because you didn’t warn her. She got fired because she was warned by how people responded to her and chose not to adjust. You tried. She blew it. End of story.
Odd_Raccoon3584 says:
I don’t think you are the bad person in this but I do think you should have told her about her attitude and how she should fix it, I think you should’ve explained that she needs to have a good attitude in jobs and if she doesn’t chose to take your advice she’s in the wrong.