Someecards Logo
ADVERTISING
'AITA if I don’t attend a wedding as a plus-one because I didn’t get my own invite?' UPDATED

'AITA if I don’t attend a wedding as a plus-one because I didn’t get my own invite?' UPDATED

ADVERTISING

"AITA if I don’t attend a wedding as a plus-one because I didn’t get my own invite?"

I 25 (F) am really close with my cousin 26 (m) and over the past two years I’ve gotten close with the people in his friend group. I’ve attended a lot of parties they’ve thrown, including birthday, Christmas and Halloween, as well as casual hang outs on a Friday night. I’ve also invited them to my birthday party.

I’m in their group chat as well. I felt like I was good friends with all of them, especially the girls. One girl, let’s call her Kelly, is engaged a guy in the group, let’s call him Ken. Kelly and Ken invited me to their engagement party about a year ago, to which I brought a gift and had a grand old time with them and all their friends and family.

About 3 months ago my cousin came over to hang out and he said “you didn’t get an invite to the wedding huh?” And I said no I didn’t. He then told me that Kelly and Ken really want me to come but I must come as someone’s plus one, and I had to pick which one of the guys in the group to be my date.

This caught me off guard as I honestly found it tacky. If they want me there why wouldn’t they just send an invite?? Also, if you don’t have space to host me, which I understand, don’t try to set up a complicated work around to have me there. I just found it distasteful, but I was uncomfortable so I chose one of his friends.

3 months later I still hadn’t been invited to the wedding by that friend, so I figured he had found another date. Didn’t really bother me because the whole situation made me kind of feel icky. Well, he texted me today asking me to be his date.

I told him I’d let him know because I might have work, after all, I didn’t get a save the date or an invite so I didn’t have the chance to request work off. He told me the rsvp date is in 2 days. I also found this sort of tacky. Why invite me so last minute?? He said that Kelly and Ken told him they really want me there.

I thought we were all close enough friends that I would just get an invite. After all, I was invited to the engagement party, to Kelly’s Birthday party, to Kens birthday party, and they came to my birthday as well. I honestly thought we were all good friends, but now I’m thinking we aren’t as good of friends as I thought, or even friends at all.

This whole no invitation plus one situation makes me uncomfortable. Would I be the ahole if I don’t attend the wedding because I’m uncomfortable with this? Or maybe I’m being overly sensitive. I’d appreciate advice from an outside perspective.

UPDATE:

I’ve politely declined the guys plus one invitation citing that I have work. I’m not going to confront the couple or anyone else. I know weddings are stressful and I don’t think this is worth making a big deal out of.

I don’t think I’ll be hanging out with my cousins friend group anymore, unless of course it’s for my cousins birthday party or something celebrating him. Thanks for all your advice!

Here's what top commenters had to say about this one:

Sebscreen said:

NTA. What are these games?! It's their wedding, they have full power over the guest list. It was within their ability and in fact the obvious solution to keep the spots for the single guys in your friend group to just one and extend you a dedicated invite for just one too. Why do they want you to make a grand show of choosing your preferred guy to accompany? Very exhausting.

Apart-Ad-6518 said:

NTA. "I must come as someone’s plus one, and I had to pick which one of the guys in the group to be my date." Agree it's a tacky & potentially really uncomfortable situation to be placed in.

KitchenDismal9258 said:

NTA. Sounds like you are not that close to Kelly and Ken and it doesn't even sound like you've even spoken to them and only heard from the others around it. I wouldn't be going either. If they wanted you they would've invited you. Unless you do want to go as a+1 with the guy that's invited you.

Maybe the plan was for you to always be his date because he likes you but this is a bad way to go about it. Don't let anyone make you feel bad. You have other plans. You aren't close enough to be invited, therefore you aren't close enough to drop everything to be a +1.

dart1126 said:

NTA. Yeah, this is weird. It sounds like for all these other friends, plus ones were also offered. If numbers were so crunchy for them, maybe they should’ve cut those out/ down. They’re allowing potential strangers in the form of many plus ones to preclude explicitly inviting you and ensuring your attendance.

Wintery1 said:

NTA, if Kelly and Ken really wanted you there they would have invited you directly in your own right. At this point the whole wedding is tainted for you anyway so don't waste your time or energy with it any further. Decline the plus one offer politely, cite work if you want an excuse not that I think you need one.

Level-Tangerine-8172 said:

NTA. If they really wanted you there so badly they would have just invited you, surely? And why not give you the invitation and let you pick one of the guys as a plus one if they wanted to use that tacky reasoning? It clearly wasn't a priority for them that you be there, I wouldn't want to go either.

UPDATE:

I’ve politely declined the guys plus one invitation citing that I have work. I’m not going to confront the couple or anyone else. I know weddings are stressful and I don’t think this is worth making a big deal out of.

I don’t think I’ll be hanging out with my cousins friend group anymore, unless of course it’s for my cousins birthday party or something celebrating him. Thanks for all your advice!

Everyone was on OP's side for this one. What's your advice for this wedding drama?

Sources: Reddit
© Copyright 2024 Someecards, Inc

ADVERTISING
Featured Content