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'AITA for telling my dad's mistress to stop stalking me at work and that I don't care for her kid?'

'AITA for telling my dad's mistress to stop stalking me at work and that I don't care for her kid?'

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"AITA for telling my dad's mistress I don't care about their possible deaths?"

NonieStudent0123 writes:

My parents' marriage ended just over a year ago after my mom learned my dad was having an affair. My dad and his mistress had been "together" for about six years by then, and my dad was less concerned about my mom finding out because my older siblings were out of the house and I (18F) was almost grown.

I think he wanted her to know about the affair. To me and my siblings, it looked like he hated Mom, and from the way he talked, it seemed as though he resented her for being happy with him.

We all turned our backs on Dad when we found out. He tried to fight it—he spoke to us and said he loved us, that he was still our dad, and that he still wanted the best for us. None of us wanted the best for him. My brother told him he hoped the rest of his life was miserable.

Weeks after my mom filed for divorce, my dad texted me and my siblings to say that his mistress was pregnant. He sent us a scan photo, but none of us were moved to get back in contact with him or keep him in our lives.

I still live at home with Mom, and I'm in community college. My siblings visit, but they live out of state now. A couple of weeks ago, my dad’s mistress showed up at the coffee shop where I work and tried to talk to me.

I stayed professional and informed her that no personal conversation could take place at work. She left but came back when my shift was ending and tried to talk to me as I walked home. I told her I had nothing to say to her. She wanted me to look at and "meet" her baby, but I walked away before she could get the baby out of the stroller.

She showed up again a few days later and did the same thing, only without the baby this time. She told me to think about how short life is and how our dad could die tomorrow, meaning we would have shut him out of our lives for no reason.

I told her I didn’t care if they died. I told her they were sick and twisted and that I was letting him go. That I didn't care about him, her, or the baby they had together. I said that if she wanted her kid to be protected from the truth, she had better keep the kid away from me and my siblings because we wanted nothing to do with them and would not pretend to care just to make them happy.

I told her she needed to leave me alone or I would go to the police about her stalking me. When I got home, a random account DMed me, saying I was wrong not to care about people’s deaths. Since she was the only person I said it to, I deleted the message and moved on.

But she told my dad’s family, and some of them said I should still care, especially about my dad and the baby, because they’re family. Another relative said the mistress hadn’t done anything wrong to me or my family and didn’t deserve to have it taken out on her since she owed my mom nothing.

I brushed off what they said, but I guess it made me wonder if I was wrong to say it. Either way, I won’t apologize, but I’ll just ignore it if she or Dad tries again in the future. AITA?

Here are the top rated comments.

Dresden_Mouse says:

"The mistress did nothing" they affair lasted 6 years, she knew he was married, she's as responsible as him, your dad apparently has his side of the family around so he has nothing to complain about, he betrayed the whole family no only your mom. Good luck.

calacmack says:

Actions have consequences. Your father's wife was cruel to stalk you and she set herself up for a conversation she wouldn't like. Maybe things will change in the future or maybe they won't but NTA.

OP responded:

My feelings on not having a relationship definitely won't change. I have lost all respect for him and I really don't care about her or their child. Blood doesn't mean as much to me as it might to others and even though the kid didn't do anything wrong, I see them as any other random baby in the world. Not family or someone I'm desperately wanting to have a relationship with.

Final-Success2523 says:

NTA you don’t owe your father or his mistress and child anything. And it’s clear your dads family is siding with him. I’d keep them low contact or cut them off too.

OP responded:

Not all of them but some are hoping there's a chance for reconciliation. I know they still love him regardless but if they push it there will be less contact between us.

What do you think?

Sources: Reddit
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