"AITA for not caring that my best friend is pregnant?"
My (27f) best friend (28f) has been making some choices that deeply upset and worry me. She and her new husband don’t want to get jobs, already have 5 kids between them, and won’t stop getting pregnant even though they’re currently facing evictions.
They’re not paying their bills but they always can afford weed and expensive junk food. She’s been pregnant nonstop for the last few years, with one birth and 6 miscarriages, a few of which have been second trimester miscarriages needing labor to be induced to pass the stillborn babies. I’ve been supporting her in every way I can. When she had her last baby I gave her frozen meal prep and took care of her other 4 kids.
However, I started to notice that she was really thriving off the attention people were giving her for these pregnancies. Almost like that was the whole point of her doing it, so I decided to stop enabling her by giving her the attention she was looking for.
She’s currently 5 months pregnant and wants me to throw her a baby shower. I told her I wasn’t gonna have time because I started a new job (which is true, but I’d make it happen if I really wanted to and she knows that).
The problem is that I agreed to be a maid of honor in our other friend’s wedding. I know she’s already been noticing my lack of effort and as soon as she finds out that I signed up for the MOH role, she’s going to be pretty upset.
So AITA for not showing any interest in my best friend’s pregnancy even though she doesn’t really have a village to support her anymore? I feel really bad, but my efforts felt like enabling her bad decisions.
Here's what people had to say to OP:
Only-Breadfruit-6108 says:
A second baby shower is usually rare. A fifth is unheard of. They don’t need baby gifts, they should have everything already. NTA for stepping back completely.
Pale_Difference_9949 says:
NTA. It’s not a standard to have multiple baby showers. Five is pretty wild to be honest.
redelectro7 says:
You don't need a baby shower for a 6th kid.
Sufferer-Of-Cheese says:
You been a great friend but this person has been...well a leech, please look after yourself from now on.