'AITA because I don't care that my extended family doesn't include my step and half-siblings?'
"AITA because I don't care that my extended family don't buy gifts or include my step and half siblings?"
FriendlyEvviz writes:
My mom died when I (16) was 6. My parents were already divorced and Dad was already dating my stepmother. A few months after my mom died, Dad stopped me from seeing my extended family.
All I had was Mom's side because Dad doesn't speak to any of his extended family. The reason Dad stopped letting me see my extended family was because they refused to include my stepsiblings. They took him to court and won visitation rights with me.
Dad and my stepmother tried to end those visits. We even moved twice. But the visits changed to two weeks in the summer and them being allowed to fly out to see me twice a year, once for Christmas and once for my birthday.
My dad and stepmother had more kids together. So I have two stepsiblings aged 14 and 12 and three half-siblings aged 8, 7, and 5. My extended family don't buy gifts for my stepsiblings or half-siblings and they never invite them along.
I don't care. It makes sense to me because they have nothing to do with each other. My extended family are Mom's family and my step and half-siblings are from Dad, and my parents were divorced when Mom died. It's also not like I have a really good relationship with my step or half-siblings. I like getting time to be with my family.
But my dad has been on me more and more for not caring. He wanted me to ask to stop the visits with my extended family. He complained about me enjoying my extended family so much and never giving a second thought to my (step and half) siblings. He said my stepmother's family treat me well and include me, and my mom's family should do the same.
I told him I didn't care that they don't, and I explained why it makes sense to me. Dad said he was disappointed I would see it that way, and my stepmother asked me how I could be so clinical about family. She said my (step and half) siblings love me and they wish they could be included.
She told me how much it hurts them to see me get gifts when they don't and to be ignored when their grandparents and other family include me. I just don't understand why anyone would think my mom's side would. And I really don't care. To me, it's not an issue. Does that make me an AH?
Here are some of the comments from the post.
Dapper-Survey1964 says:
Of course you're NTA. Your stepmom chose to marry a man with a child, so she chose to take on certain parental duties for you. That includes making sure her family treats you with respect. Your mom did not (and could not!) choose to take on parental duties for your step/half sibs. As such, her family has no duties towards them either.
OP responded:
I like how you said it because that's exactly it. My dad will never accept that but he and mom divorced. He has no right to demand things from her family even if he thinks he does.
Cute-Profession9983 says:
Why would they get gifts for their daughter's ex-husband's kids by someone else? Ridiculous!
OP responded:
My dad said it takes a terrible person to buy for only one kid in a family and not the others.