'AITA for not caring that my son broke up with some woman's daughter because they're teens?'
"AITA for telling a mom that I don't care about her daughter being dumped by my son?"
Own-Celebration-1049 writes:
My son, Dylan, dated "Melanie" since the 10th grade. They are now juniors. Dylan dumped her last week, and Melanie took it hard. I got a text yesterday from Melanie's mom asking me to call her. She wanted me to bring back Melanie's sweater, which she had left at our house a couple of weeks ago. I said sure.
I told her she could pick it up. The mom came over and said that I should talk to Dylan about how much he hurt Melanie. She said Melanie was very attached to my son and that my son broke up with her in the "wrong way."
I told her I wasn’t talking to my son about anything. They’re high schoolers, and stuff like this happens all the time. Melanie isn’t special. My son doesn’t owe her or you an apology for not wanting to date her anymore.
Dylan wasn’t mean about it. He simply said that he didn’t want to be in a relationship because he wanted to spend more time with his friends. The mom said that was BS. I said I don’t care. He doesn’t need a reason. It’s none of your business.
She asked me if I cared about how my son treated his girlfriends. I said, "Do you care how your daughter treats her boyfriends?" She said it was different. I told her I had nothing left to say except that I don’t care about her or her daughter. Not that it matters, but I’m not the mom.
Here are the top rated comments from readers.
curiousr_nd_curiousr says:
I’m torn between E S H and NAH. Every parent does it differently, and as soon as you start offering unsolicited advice or criticisms you wander into AH territory, like Melanie’s mom seems to have in your eyes. You can’t blame her for wanting the best for her daughter, just like you want for your son. Doesn’t give her the right to tell you how to raise your kid.
That being said Teenagers can be cruel, and not completely honest with their parents. You don’t necessarily know the whole story, your son might have omitted details to you, or it’s possible Melanie exaggerated details with her mom out of hurt, or even vis versa. You’re both acting off the info you have.
If you do happen to know that Dylan wasn’t a great boyfriend, or that he didn’t exactly treat her well in how he handled the breakup, it wouldn’t necessarily be wrong to kindly talk to him about it. It might be an annoyance for him now, but his future relationships might benefit.
WillLoveCoffee4Ever1 says:
So NTA, but that woman is! If he mistreated her during the relationship, then that should be the issue, but this woman is saying your son mistreated her, BECAUSE he dumped her! This woman needs to talk to HER daughter and teach her she can't have everything in life and there will be times where she will be hurt and disappointed and this is one of those times.
Sounds like she spoils her daughter so much, that she'll do anything to appease her, even attempt to force a reconciliation. Your son made a choice for himself, and if Melanie and her mother don't like it, too bad.
Cakeliesx says:
I’m gonna say NTA if I understand correctly. It sounds like the gf mom said that his reason (wishing to spend time with his friends) was bs. But if that is the reason he gave, then to me it sounds like he was kind and you are right, he doesn’t have to defend his reason.
Now if she was actually claiming that that the the bs was that he was intentionally cruel in some way, I’d give her a listen and get a fuller account and consider telling your son what she claimed and see how he reacted. Sometimes teenagers DO need to be reminded to be kind and treat people well.
But people have every right to breakup with their gf/bf’s and at that age it’s gonna happen. And from what you have said, it sounds like the gf and her mom need to learn that lesson.