'AITA for not including my daughter’s half siblings in the things we do together?'
"AITA for not including my daughter’s half siblings in things with us and not getting them stuff?"
No-Newt-7314 writes:
Ten years ago, I had a relationship with a woman who I had no idea was already married with three kids. She never wore her wedding ring when she was with me, and she posted nothing on social media.
I guess I just trusted her and didn’t check. I was so foolish. I would never have even looked at her if I knew she was in a relationship, let alone married with children. My mom cheated on my dad and destroyed our family, and I would never intentionally do that to anyone.
A few months into our relationship, she got pregnant. When she was six months along, she sat me down, broke down crying, and told me everything. I was horrified and ended things with her right then and there.
I couldn’t live with myself, so a few days later, I did some digging, found her husband, and told him everything. He absolutely deserved to know what his wife had been doing behind his back. I kept apologizing and told him I had no idea she was married with kids. He thanked me for being honest and telling him the truth. Apparently, they were still active, and he thought the baby she was carrying was his.
They went to counseling for the sake of their kids and decided to stay together. They also kept the baby. When she was born, we did a DNA test, and she turned out to be mine. Once she grew out of breastfeeding, we had 50/50 custody.
Her husband didn’t hate me, but he didn’t like me either. He was distant with my daughter and never got her anything or included her in family vacations. She would come stay with me instead. Because of that, I never got his other kids anything either, and that arrangement worked for everyone until a few months ago.
Back in July, I took my daughter, my wife, and my son on a two-week family vacation to France and Italy. We also went to Disneyland in Paris. My daughter had known about it for months and was so excited.
She’s a huge Disney princess fan and talked about it all the time. Apparently, her half-siblings got jealous, and her mother tried to convince me to take them too. I refused because three extra kids would make the trip far more expensive, and I had no reason to take them in the first place.
She called me greedy and even offered to give me some money to take them, but it wouldn’t have covered the cost of one extra child, let alone three. Besides, it was a family vacation, and they’re not my family.
The vacation came and went, but her other kids are still upset about it and are making my daughter feel terrible when she’s with them. I’m currently consulting a lawyer to see if I can request more custody because of the situation. Am I the bad guy here?
Here's what people had to say to OP:
Ok-Preference-712 says:
NTA, make your daughters mother fully aware that had the riles been reversed, her stepfather would have happily left her behind. Your daughters mother needs to suck it up. Although I would consider full custody.
OP responded:
I am looking to get full custody, my daughter hates her mothers house and they hate her.
Proper_End_6107 says:
How do they think your daughter feels when her mom and siblings go on holiday. This is something her mom created, its for her to resolve.
OP responded:
I’ve consulted my daughter many times while she cried when they go on these holidays.