'AITA for not making my husband food because his work wife kept cooking for him instead?' UPDATED
"AITA for not making him food after his work 'wife' kept making him food"
Playful-Rub-3791 writes:
My husband (M34) and I (F27) have been married for three years but were dating for four years prior. He recently got a promotion in his company and moved to a different department. In this department, he recently started interacting with a woman (F24).
I disliked her from the start. Every time I’m there, she makes sure to call him her "work husband," or she does simple things such as making him food or giving him extra tight hugs. But my breaking point was last week when he came home with the food I made him still in his lunch bag.
When I asked him why his lunch bag was still full of what I had made him in the morning, he said that F24 had made him food and he didn’t want to seem rude and waste it. So I ignored it until he threw away the food I made him. I woke up at 6 A.M. just to make him his favorite food. But ever since then, this has been happening every day. It’s started to get annoying.
Today, I decided not to make him lunch. He came downstairs in the morning to me making breakfast and asked where his lunch was. I said I didn’t make him one because it was going to go to waste anyway. He started arguing that I was being petty over a little thing. But I tried to discuss how I felt, and he dismissed it. So, am I the asshole for not making him food?
OP provided an update:
My husband and I are going to talk when he gets back home, but I did talk to him a little before he went in the shower. He got mad when I asked if I could see his texts with her, which ended in him getting defensive and saying that if I trusted him, I wouldn’t need to.
I may bring up the option of divorce, but I need to figure out the financial situation first. I have a job, but it barely pays. But until then, I’m going to start packing up my stuff little by little, talking to a divorce attorney, and figuring out where to go from there. But I won’t do anything until my husband and I have the talk. Thank you to everyone who has let me open up on this a little bit.
Here are the top comments:
False_Exercise_9323 says:
Your husband is an idiot. He's absorbing the attention from a young female co-worker and snubbing his wife. You are a rarity in today's world. My wife have prepared my lunches for the past 26 years, not out of duty or coercion, but out of love.
I would be damned if I would worry about another person's feelings let alone a female at the sacrifice of my wife. It's not about the food, it's a labor of love. I hope for both of your sakes he gets his head out of his a^% before it's too late.
Last_Friend_6350 says:
Oh this doesn’t sound good! If he’s nothing to hide then he should show you the messages. I would have made him show me them then and there because now he has the opportunity to delete them so you can’t see what’s really been going on between them. You’re right to start packing and getting legal advice.
RoosterSea8079 says:
Him ُnot showing you the messages is a major red flag.
Suitable-Carrot-1810 says:
Wow, if he has nothing to hide he would let you see his phone. My wife has full access to my phone even though she never looks through it because she trusts me and I have given her no reason not to. Do you know who my “work wife” is? My wife.
What do you think?