'AITA for telling my BIL to always assume I don't want his parenting advice?'
"AITA for telling my brother-in-law to always assume I don't want his parenting advice?"
We are on a family vacation right now. Me, my wife, our kids, her parents, her sister, her brother, his wife, and their kids. The resort we are staying at has a really nice buffet. We went there for dinner last night.
As we were walking to the buffet from our table, I told the kids to only get one plate at a time and not to over pile it with food, because they could get as many plates as they wanted, and I did not want them spilling food on the floor.
My brother-in-law made a comment that I "even have rules for the buffet." He said to his kids, "Don't worry. You don't have to follow Uncle OP's rules. You're on vacation. Do what you want." I did not respond.
At the table, he saw that my oldest got a huge piece of salmon and that he had scooped green beans on top of the salmon. It was not a mountain of food or anything. It just was not carefully separated. My brother-in-law said, "Don't let OP see that. What if a green bean rolls off?" I told my son to ignore him and enjoy his food.
My brother-in-law said, "That's the key to raising happy kids. You should want them to enjoy life. It's hard to enjoy anything when there are a million rules." I told him I do not want parenting advice from him while I am trying to enjoy my meal.
He said he did not realize he was bothering me and asked when he should give advice. I said, "Go ahead and assume I never want parenting advice from you." My mother-in-law said to my wife, "Your husband is in a mood, huh? I hope he isn't like this tomorrow." That was the end of it. No one commented further.
Was I out of line to say that? I think my response was proportional to his statements. I do not want his advice, and I would prefer he did not give it. I also do not approve of his parenting, but I do not say so. I would like the same courtesy. Is that unreasonable?
Here's what people had to say to OP:
Vdavwil says:
NTA. It's always rude to directly contradict a parent when they are instructing their kids. If he really had a concern (he didn't, he just wanted to bust your cookies), he would have told you out of their earshot. Your response was fine.
Impressive-Fig1876 says:
NTA sounds like this guy is an AH all the time and you’re just less accepting of it on vacation. Good for you.
abbriggs22 says:
Parents not setting rules and boundaries is the reason there are so many intitled brats running around. Kudos to you.
Resident-Respond6566 says:
Teaching manners and etiquette helps a kid out in the long run. Not sure they are rules, but more like care for others, like those that need to sweep the mess after a piled up plate.