'AITA for wanting to leave home because I don't want to take care of a toddler?'

"AITA for wanting to leave home over a toddler?"

ChemicalTale9106 writes:

I am the oldest of five. I have two brothers and two sisters. I am 17M. In February, my youngest brother, who is a toddler, moved into my room with me. I also have a 12M brother he should have moved in with, but that is another story.

To get him to sleep, he and I would watch TV in his bed together since he is the kind of baby who needs to cuddle to fall asleep. I usually had him asleep before 11:00 every night. During the summer, my mom would sometimes take him to her room instead, which gave me a break.

At first this was nice, but it became a habit. After months of sleeping in my room, he ended up getting used to going back to my mom’s room. Then she introduced a tablet at bedtime. At first I did not mind because it distracted him and gave me some quiet time to play video games.

But it became a nightly routine, and now he will not go to bed without it. Sometimes he also cries to go back to my mom’s room. For context, he never did this when he was used to sleeping in my room.

Now he often goes downstairs several times a night asking for things like chocolate, food, or milk. He does not need any of that because he is well fed and only needs water upstairs. Every night he screams to get out of my room, wrestles me to leave, and cries over anything. My mom blames me for this.

I have tried everything to help him settle. I watch the tablet with him even though I do not want him using it at bedtime. I watch TV with him. I play with him a little to tire him out. No matter what, it ends with him running out of the room, screaming, and crying. I think this is the result of too much tablet use and too much sugar, but my mom insists it is my fault.

She says that if we do not get along, I will lose my phone for a week. I am 15 years older than him, and she says she needs her sleep for work. But if she had not let him do whatever he wanted, or given him a tablet, chocolate, or food at bedtime, or allowed him to keep going downstairs, this would not have become an issue.

I do not understand how this is my fault, and I feel like my hands are tied. Am I the a^#%ole? Is there something I could do differently? How can I explain to my mom, without sounding rude, that this situation was not caused by me or by me not trying? Please help. Thank you.

Here are some of the responses to OP's post.

Born_Relief4909 says:

This is what happens when parents have more kids than they can handle and they pawn the youngest off on the oldest. You did not sign up to parent your sibling. You are 17, you deserve your own space. Your mom needs to start being a parent. NTA.

Chemical-Clock-6145 says:

NTA, but you’re definitely a free childcare worker at this point. Missing some context but this seems like you’re expected to be an extra parent and problem solve things your mom won’t.

Anxious-Pen-8418 says:

NTA she's parentifying you but doesn't want you to question anything she does wrong either. you can only parent your brother in the things she doesn't want to deal with. you have been more caring than a lot of teens at your age. Do you have any ways of staying out of the house like getting a job? are you going for college soon and if so can you go to a campus where you don't stay at home?

OP responded:

I am graduating high school in a few months and then I'm off to the USAF..... unforunately my family needs me to do things like this.

What do you think?