'AITA for telling my daughter to not let my entitled sister take advantage of her?'

AITA for encouraging my daughter not to let my entitled sister win?

Appropriate-Bee-4743 writes

Whenever my sister Lynn goes to any family event, she never watches her own kids and expects everyone else to, including my own children, who have complained about it. She will leave the room with her toddler, who acts like a wild animal.

I told my children (10 and 13) not to be duped into watching that brat. My 13-year-old daughter left the room when my sister left her alone with her kid to gossip with my mom. My daughter got up and left.

Lynn’s toddler pulled all the food off the table by the tablecloth and spilled red pasta sauce all over my mom’s carpet. The kid was screaming, and Lynn started to yell at my daughter when I told Lynn it was her responsibility to watch her own kids.

Lynn said she thought my daughter was watching the “baby.” I asked her, “Did you ask my daughter to?” Lynn said she thought my daughter was smart enough to watch kids if they were alone with them. My daughter said maybe Lynn should be smarter next time she thinks of having kids that she can’t control or watch.

Yes, this was rude, and I laughed. My mom told my daughter to help pick up the mess because she helped cause it. My daughter refused, saying it was Lynn’s fault because she let her kids run around like animals.

My mom said we could all leave because we had no respect for her or her house. My daughter said she wouldn’t be back until her grandmother and aunt respected her. I took my kids home.

My mom thinks I should punish or talk to my daughter and make her apologize, but I won’t. I don’t think my daughter did anything wrong, and it’s Lynn’s fault for not watching her own kids.

Here are the top comments:

atealein says:

Honestly, at the age your kids are I would say entirely NTA. Not only for how you are supporting them to express their feelings and needs but also not bend to the pressure. Don't accept responsibility for things that are out of your control and you haven't agreed to be your responsibility and teach your children the same (you seem to be doing excellent job on that).

The retort your daughter gave was indeed rude - it would have been better to not say things about others reproductive choices, because it is quite obvious she is picking up these opinions and judgments from her parents. But either way, the parent is the responsible person for whatever the child did - even if there was another minor babysitting.

Unlucky-Gift-9360 says:

NTA. Lynn should hire a babysitter if she can't keep track of her kids. Good on you for supporting your kids in this situation, I can see how in many families the responsibility could be rolled onto the shoulders of the older kids and force them to babysit just by default - which honestly isn't right. Parents need to be responsible for their own kids.

Silly-Snow1277 says:

NTA. Your sister is assuming people just look after their kids and she shouldn't. Maybe if she asked it's another story, but even then your daughter should always be allowed to say no and your sister has to accept that. Good for you for standing up for your daughter here.

Sea_Jello_8900 says:

I don’t think it’s rude for your daughter to have said that AT ALL. If you’re a parent you are required to have 100% responsibility for your children no matter who is present. If you choose to ask someone else you are doing so as if it is a favor not a requirement for them to do it because they are capable.

Her entitlement that other people can watch her kids because they are there is ridiculous. Your daughter is right. If you’re not mature enough to watch your kids on your own then don’t have more. Complete NTA and do not tell your daughter to apologize. Make your sister apologize for making your kids feel they need to watch hers.

What do you think?