'AITA for ruining my coworker's marriage after he told HR that I'm in a throuple?'
"AITA for exposing my coworker after he exposed me?"
PleasantLieThrowRA writes:
I (28F) have been in a happy and committed throuple for about three years now. It’s unconventional, but it works for us. I also enjoy posting on a social media platform that’s more on the “mature” side—think Facebook, but for adults who like to discuss NSFW topics and post NSFW pictures.
My face isn’t visible in any of the pictures, and I never talk about my job on there, so I didn’t think it would ever be an issue at work, especially since our job doesn't have a morality clause.
One of my coworkers, “Jake” (34M), recently found my profile on this site. Jake has always been a bit too friendly, making suggestive comments and flirting with me despite knowing I’m not interested. I’ve turned him down countless times, but he just doesn’t take the hint. He thinks that just because I'm poly, I want to be with him.
Instead of keeping his discovery to himself, Jake took screenshots of my posts and ran to HR, accusing me of "unbecoming internet activity" that could damage the company’s reputation. I got called into a meeting with HR, and honestly, I was terrified.
However, after reviewing the posts, HR told me that because my face wasn’t visible and there was nothing identifying the company, it wasn’t their concern and was my own personal business.
They assured me that no action would be taken against me and that I hadn’t violated any policies. My direct boss also said that the meeting was more about the fact that Jake was sharing my private pictures in the workplace.
Even though I was cleared, I still felt humiliated that my private life had been dragged into work like this. And I was beyond angry that Jake tried to get me in trouble over something that had nothing to do with him.
Here’s where I might be the a%@$ole. After that HR meeting, I was still fuming. I knew Jake was married and had heard rumors about him cheating on his wife with another woman in the office. I also had a bunch of inappropriate messages he’d sent me, including some sent during work hours, which I hadn’t done anything about until now.
Instead of going back to HR, I decided to take matters into my own hands. I found Jake’s wife on social media and anonymously sent her all the screenshots of his messages to me, along with some information about his affair.
I literally found his profile and his mistress's profile on the SAME site he said was 'unbecoming' and sent her the links to both. I figured if he wanted to dig into my private life, he should face the consequences of his own actions.
It didn’t take long for everything to blow up. Jake’s wife confronted him, and now she’s filed for divorce. Word spread around the office, and Jake is absolutely furious with me, saying I ruined his marriage and made his life hell.
Some of my coworkers think I went too far and should have just let it go, but others believe he got what he deserved for trying to get me in trouble over something that was none of his business. So, AITA?
Here are the top comments:
big_bob_c says:
NTA. People in glass houses shouldn't throw hand grenades with a bungee cord attached. (Still working on that one). Seriously, he tried to spread revenge porn to make OP lose her job in retaliation for not letting him into her bed. When you go after someone's livelihood, the gloves are off and the boots are on.
LakeGlen4287 says:
Jake got his FAFO moment. Maybe next time, he will think before attempting to humiliate a woman just for turning him down.
rockcetmn69 says:
"I have no idea what you're talking about Jake. I'm sorry to hear that you ruined your marriage."
Ok-Try-857 says:
NTA. Well done. His wife deserved to know. It’s laughable that he blames you. He decided to blow up his life when he cheated. I’d report him to HR for the sexual harassment (bring receipts) and tell them his behavior now is also unacceptable as he is publicly accusing you of ruining his marriage. Your professional reputation is important too.
What do you think?