'AITA for destroying my family because I couldn't keep my dad's affair a secret? My dad said it wasn't my marriage to destroy.'
"AITA for exposing my dad's affair to my stepmom?"
Plane-Translator-192 writes:
My dad (M54) and my stepmom, Laura (F48), have been married for 10 years. They’ve always seemed happy together, and Laura has been like a second mother to me since my biological mom passed away when I was 8. Our family has always been close-knit, and I’ve always looked up to my dad as a role model.
A few months ago, I started noticing my dad acting strangely. He was secretive with his phone, staying out late, and seemed more distant. Initially, I thought it was work stress or something, but one night, I accidentally saw a text pop up on his phone from a woman named "Rachel" that was very flirty. My heart sank, but I told myself it could be innocent.
However, the more I observed, the more I realized something was seriously off. I decided to follow him one evening when he said he was going out for a work meeting. My worst fears were confirmed when I saw him meet up with a younger woman, who I assumed was Rachel. They were very affectionate, clearly more than just friends.
I was furious and heartbroken. I didn’t know what to do. Confronting my dad felt daunting, but keeping this secret felt like a betrayal to Laura, who I adore. I decided to gather more evidence before making any moves. Over the next few weeks, I discreetly took photos and screenshots of their interactions.
Finally, I couldn’t take it anymore. I confronted my dad one evening when Laura was out. I showed him the evidence and demanded an explanation. He was shocked and defensive, then angry. He tried to justify his actions, saying he felt neglected and unappreciated, but I wasn’t having it. I told him he needed to come clean to Laura or I would.
He begged me not to, promising he would end the affair and work on his marriage. I felt torn but agreed to give him a week to sort things out. However, as days passed, I didn’t see any change. My dad acted like nothing happened, still sneaking around.
Feeling betrayed by his inaction, I took matters into my own hands. I sat Laura down and showed her everything. She was devastated, but thanked me for telling her the truth. The fallout was intense. Laura confronted my dad, and their marriage is now in shambles. They’re currently separated, and divorce seems likely.
My dad is furious with me. He says I overstepped and ruined their marriage. Some family members agree with him, saying I should have stayed out of it. Others support my decision, saying Laura deserved to know the truth. Now, I’m left questioning myself. Did I do the right thing by exposing my dad’s affair? Or did I go too far and destroy our family? AITA?
Here are the top comments:
LobstahLovahRI says:
Whether this destroys your family or not, you are NTA. Laura deserved the truth, and its your dads fault for not coming clean on his own. As a married woman myself, I would rather someone tell me, because cheating and catching a disease can happen. Or the other woman could get pregnant. It's a matter of health and he was bringing home a stranger's DNA to his wife. Very disgusting.
JobobTexan says:
You did exactly what a daughter should do. You gave him the chance to make it right and he didn't. He is responsible for all the fallout not you. He knew the risk he was taking and he lost. You always lose when you betray a love one. It's all on him.
TarzanKitty says:
NTA. You didn’t ruin your dad’s marriage. Your dad’s inability to not cheat on his wife ruined his marriage.
Flat_Fennel_1517 says:
How did you ruin the marriage when he was the one having the affair? THE AUDACITY! You are obviously not the ah OP, and you are a good person!
What do you think?