'AITA for leaving my GF and daughter because my daughter doesn't look like me?'
"AITA for leaving my ex and her daughter after discovering she isn't mine."
Gold_Record_4230 writes:
I (28M) have a 5-year-old daughter, Lily, with my ex-girlfriend, Sarah (27F). At least, I thought she was my daughter. Sarah and I dated for a few years, and when she got pregnant, I was over the moon. I was excited to be a dad and took on the role wholeheartedly.
From the moment Lily was born, I noticed she didn't really look like me, but I brushed it off. Babies change a lot, right? As she grew older, though, the differences became more pronounced. She had none of my features—none at all. It started to nag at me, but I pushed those thoughts aside, feeling guilty for even questioning it.
A few months ago, I finally gave in to the doubt that had been gnawing at me. I ordered a paternity test without telling Sarah. When the results came back, my heart sank: I wasn't Lily's biological father.
I felt like my world had been turned upside down. I confronted Sarah, and after a lot of tears and arguing, she admitted that she had cheated on me around the time Lily was conceived.
I was devastated. The little girl I'd raised and loved wasn't mine. I felt like my entire relationship with Sarah was a lie. I couldn't look at Lily the same way, knowing that her biological father was out there somewhere. I decided to leave. I packed my things and moved out, leaving Sarah and Lily behind.
Since then, Sarah, her friends, and even some of my own family have been calling me an a^@%ole for abandoning Lily. They say that biology doesn't matter, that I raised her and she sees me as her father. They accuse me of being heartless and cruel for walking away from a little girl who loves me. I get messages and calls almost daily, calling me out for my decision.
It's been tough. I feel guilty because I know Lily doesn't understand why I'm not around anymore. But at the same time, I can't shake the feeling of betrayal and the constant reminder that she isn't mine. I don't know how to be there for her without feeling like a fraud. I didn't sign up to raise another man's child, especially without my knowledge.
Here are the top comments:
WhyCommentQueasy says:
Guessing you're on the birth certificate. Don't do anything that's going to put you at risk legally or financially.
OP responded:
I have a lawyer working on getting me off the birth certificate.
Theunpolitical says:
I like how no one asks you in your inner circle if you are okay. That had to be pretty emotionally hurtful and damaging to find out. Plus all the years of deceit. They just focus on guilting you about the little girl.
I get their point because yes kids don't understand at this age but you still need some time to adjust to this shocking news. It's okay to take a step back and figure out what you want to do. Yes, you can still be there for the little girl if you want to but right now, you just need to get your emotional footing on all of this. NTA (Not the A^#$ole).
Foolish5678 says:
NTA all those people saying you should be calling Sarah instead. Sarah was cruel and heartless when she decided to partake in paternity fraud. She could have come clean all those years ago. The real victim is always the kid, they didn't sign up for this sh%t. But Lily has her mom to thank for that, not you.
What do you think?