consistent_naz1 writes:
I (33F) started working at a company almost 3 months ago. I really liked the job and was happy to be working there. I made new work friends and was trying to be friendly and talk with everyone who wanted to ask me anything. There was a coworker in my office (50+ M) that I spoke to frequently. He told me about his wife and 4 daughters, and I really thought nothing of our interactions.
He had my number because I just assumed he was a friendly dude (mind you, married and with children). He started following me on IG—still, I thought nothing was weird. Then one day, his wife sent me a reel on IG. I had no idea who she was (I saw the profile picture of them when I opened the message). I thought, "OK, maybe it’s a weird mistake." I didn’t reply.
Then he started sending me messages about how he wanted to cook for me in exchange for me teaching him my language. I politely declined and said maybe he should hire a professional. He sent a few more messages that I didn’t reply to. He deleted them on WhatsApp and the next day apologized for harassing me. I said, "It’s OK, have a nice weekend." After that, I stopped talking to him at work except for saying "good morning."
This week, he was in the office again. I said hello and wanted to pass him, and he kind of gently smacked me on the butt with some papers he was holding. I was in shock and didn’t know what to do. As my shift was ending, I just went home.
The next day, I complained about him to HR, which got him promptly fired. Now he is saying he will sue the company and that I am a liar, claiming he was just trying to move some papers. I have no evidence outside of the messages he sent me. My other coworker said I should have just threatened him or told him to stop and that I overreacted, which resulted in him getting fired. I didn’t lie, though. AITA?
DreamySugarGlow says:
You are absolutely not the a%#$ole here. You experienced inappropriate behavior from a coworker, and you responded appropriately by reporting it to HR. You didn’t overreact; you were simply setting a clear boundary when his actions became inappropriate, and his behavior—especially the physical contact—was definitely crossing the line.
Longjumping_Froggo19 says:
NTA - HR wouldn’t have fired him over one thing…he has a history and this was a last straw.
rrspmmn230 says:
NTA. You did what you needed to do for your safety and comfort at work. It's not your job to educate him on boundaries; it's his job to know better, especially in a professional environment. His actions had consequences, and you shouldn’t feel guilty for his poor choices.
Maverick_j2k says:
NO! Absolutely NOT! He was BEYOND WRONG and knows it. Why did he delete those messages? If you were innocent you wouldn't Also, they fired him so obviously something like this happened before.