'AITA for 'humiliating' my friend at my birthday dinner because she brought her kid?'

"AITA for Telling My Friend She Couldn’t Bring Her Kid to My “Child-Free” Birthday Dinner?"

Express-Clue-5563 writes:

I (29F) recently hosted a birthday dinner at a nice restaurant with a group of close friends. It was meant to be a small, child-free evening—nothing wild, just a quiet, adults-only dinner with good food and conversation. I made it clear on the invite that this was an adults-only event so everyone could plan accordingly.

One of my friends, “Laura” (31F), has a 3-year-old daughter. When I first sent out the invite, she asked if she could bring her child since she didn’t have a babysitter. I sympathized but told her that, unfortunately, I really wanted to keep this an adults-only event, and I completely understood if she couldn’t make it. She said she’d figure something out and never brought it up again.

Fast forward to the night of the dinner. Everyone arrived at the restaurant, and Laura walked in, holding her daughter’s hand. I was immediately caught off guard but tried to stay calm. I pulled her aside and said, “Hey, I thought we talked about this? I really wanted this to be child-free.” She shrugged and said, “Yeah, but I couldn’t find a sitter, and I didn’t want to miss your birthday.”

At this point, I was frustrated but still trying to be polite. I told her I understood, but I didn’t think it was fair to the rest of the guests who had also made childcare arrangements, expecting an adult environment.

I asked her to leave and offered to celebrate separately another time. She got upset and said I was being ungrateful and ridiculous, insisting that her daughter was “well-behaved” and wouldn’t cause any trouble. But the whole point was the principle—I had set a boundary, and she ignored it.

Laura ended up leaving in a huff. Later, she sent me a long text saying I had “humiliated” her in front of our friends and made her feel like a bad mom for bringing her daughter. A couple of our friends think I overreacted and should have just let her stay, while others agree that it was unfair of her to put me in that position.

Now I feel torn. I didn’t want to make a scene, but I also feel like I shouldn’t have to justify a boundary I was clear about from the start. AITA for asking her to leave when she showed up with her kid?

Here are the top rated comment.

4me2knowit says:

She humiliated herself.

Informal-Arrival678 says:

NTA. A boundary is only as strong as your willingness to enforce it, and you did exactly that.

plantprinses says:

NTA. She brought this on herself. She thought she could force you into having her kid present by bringing her kid with her. She used her child to get her way, she used her as a human shield. That's some shitty parenting right there.

bartlebyandbaggins says:

Ugh. I’d be so annoyed seeing her waltz in holding her child’s hand. It doesn’t matter how well behaved a kid is. You have to watch everything you say around little ones. They’re sponges.