'AITA for hurting this guys feelings during his job interview because of his behavior?'
"AITAH for telling a guy to shut up during a job interview."
sirtuinsenolytic writes:
I was interviewing this guy for a very good software engineering position. He passed the first round, and both I and everyone involved in the second round really liked his resume and experience. On paper, he had everything we were looking for, and honestly, this looked like a life-changing opportunity for him.
Then he showed up, very serious and not smiling at all. I'm used to that in tech interviews, and I understand it can be an intimidating environment. We did a round of introductions, and then he opened the interview by saying, "Let me tell you a little bit about myself." We said, okay, go for it.
He started talking and talking about his personal and professional background. After about three minutes, I jumped in to ask a follow-up question based on something he mentioned. He replied, "I will answer, just give me a moment," and continued talking.
A coworker jumped in with another question, and he said the same thing to her. At this point, we were kind of looking at each other but decided to let him continue and give him the benefit of the doubt.
But after more than five minutes, I jumped in again with another question. I had to talk over him to do it. He finally paused and answered, but in such a long-winded way that he ended up veering into another topic. My coworker asked another question, and the same thing happened.
At this point, I was ready to end the interview. I tried to politely wrap it up several times, but he was unable to read the room and just kept talking. I finally raised my voice slightly and said something like, "Thank you very much for sharing your background. In the interest of time, I’d like to ask if you have any questions for us." This is standard protocol and helps us prepare answers for future interviews.
He asked a question about the team. As I was answering, he raised his finger and interrupted to talk more about his background. I let it go. Then he asked another question, which my coworker started to answer, but again, he spoke over her to talk about himself. I tried once more to interrupt politely, but he kept talking.
At that point, I was done. I said, "John, you really have to shut up and listen." He was surprised, as was my coworker, but he finally stopped talking. I continued, "You walked into this room with a 99 percent chance of getting the job.
Now that chance is zero. The only reason is because, in less than fifteen minutes, you’ve demonstrated that you don’t have the capacity to listen at all. So I’m telling you now, you’re not getting the job. But if you take anything away from this interview, let it be this: no matter how good you are technically, if you can’t listen, you’ll never excel in this career."
He apologized and said, "Can we start again?" I replied, "You had your chance. Best of luck in your future interviews. Make sure you listen." Looking back, I know I could have handled that differently, but I still feel bad for the guy.
Here are some of the comments to OP's post.
ElemWiz says:
NTA. Honestly, he needed to hear it from someone in a position of hiring authority. Sure, his ego may be bruised, but that likely needed to happen.
BillyJayJersey505 says:
You actually gave him more feedback than many people would have. NTAH.
Ok-Accident-7128 says:
NTA there’s always someone like this and maybe you gave him pause for thought in life being blunt. You probably avoided a future PITA too.
No-Sea1173 says:
NTA. He needed something harsh to cut through the internal monologue spilling out into the room. You did him a massive favor.