Ncsuu writes:
I (F, 28) have been friends with someone (F, 28) for almost 20 years. We’ve always been close, and I’ve also stayed friends with my ex-boyfriend (M, 30) after we broke up a few years ago. Recently, I’ve noticed some weird behavior between my friend and my ex.
After picking up on a few things, I realized they’re secretly f%^k buddies, but they haven’t told me. The thing is, my friend has been acting really different and clingy toward him, which I find pretty uncomfortable.
She’s always trying to be with him, and it just feels a bit over the top—especially since we’re friends, and I thought they’d be upfront with me. Aside from that, it is obvious that my friend is crazily in love with him.
I’m hurt and confused. I feel like I should’ve been told, especially since I’ve known her for so long. I’m also frustrated by how she’s acting, and honestly, it feels a bit disrespectful. I don’t want to stir up drama, but I can’t help feeling betrayed and left out.
Because of all this, I’ve been ignoring both of them and declining every attempt they've made to hang out or interact. Am I the a%#&ole, or should I just let it go?
usefully_useless says:
NAH. It would certainly be healthier for you to let it go. You can’t control what other people do. And while your discomfort is understandable, it’s been YEARS since you broke up; it’s not like she swooped in right after the breakup. That said, you’re free to associate with whomever you choose. If you no longer want to be friends with them, that’s your right
jxyvld says:
Honestly you never need a reason to gracefully remove yourself from people idc if they’re the bestest friend ever if you feel the need the distance yourself which in this situation your totally right then do so it’s not like your going on a rampage and not allowing her to do anything your giving her whatever she wants and you just don’t want to be involved with this nor do you want to see them so no your NTA.
IthinkIknowThat says:
Friend probably didn't know how you would react so kept it quiet. If ex is now truly 'just' a friend, would you not want him to be happy in a relationship? Same for friend? I've had the same situation. I knew ex was a good person and was happy for both to be happy together.
evenK648 says:
NTA, just quietly remove yourself from both and move on. Those people are behind you for a reason.