'AITA for including my family business in my legal disclosure letter to my ex-husband?'
"AITAH for including my family’s business in my legal disclosure letter to my ex-husband?"
PrestigiousSoil1544 writes:
I (35F) separated from my ex-husband (39M) two years ago. The final straw in our marriage was his inappropriate friendship with my mother. Even after our separation, they stayed extremely close.
They continued training together at the gym, my mom did his cleaning, cooking, and laundry, he had sleepovers at their home every other weekend, and they basically carried on as if she was his partner instead of my mother.
When we first separated, I sent a financial disclosure letter through my lawyer. My dad came to me furious, saying he would disown me if I did not withdraw it because it would “financially ruin him” and my ex would “declare bankruptcy.” Out of guilt and pressure, I pulled the letter, paid off my lawyer, and stayed silent for two years.
Those two years were absolute torture. I felt controlled every time I tried to breathe. I lost my family because of their ongoing loyalty to my ex. I even begged my family to do counseling with me because I could not understand why my mother and my ex remained so unhealthily close. Nothing changed.
Fast forward two years, I finally reissued another disclosure letter. I was patient and gave him eight weeks instead of the required 30 days. His response was vague, incomplete, and deliberately evasive. He did not provide proper statements or transactions, but suddenly claimed my parents had lent him over $500,000. Meanwhile, I was set to walk away from the marriage with less than I came in with.
Here is where it gets complicated: I know my ex was a director of my family’s business two years ago. After I retracted the first disclosure, things were shuffled around. Names were removed and roles changed.
Now I am staring at a claim that he borrowed half a million from my parents with no proof of where it went. No statements. No paper trail. Nothing. So I added my family’s business into the disclosure process this time. I need answers.
I need transparency. I want to know where this $500k supposedly went and why I am being pressured into silence. The guilt is overwhelming. My family has already threatened to disown me once.
I have been made to feel like I am betraying them for moving forward. But on the other hand, how is it fair that my ex, who destroyed my marriage with my mother’s inappropriate involvement, could walk away with hidden money while I lose everything? So, am I wrong for reissuing the legal disclosure letter and including my family’s business, even though it exposes things they clearly do not want me to?
Here's what people had to say to OP:
mrdeck5 says:
How's your dad feel that his wife is spending so much quality time with his son-in-law.
boujeebeso says:
Girl, I’d stop twisting myself into knots over “betraying” people who clearly have no issue betraying you. NTA for wanting transparency in a legal process, you’re literally protecting yourself from being screwed over twice, once by your ex and again by your own family’s silence. If your parents are more worried about shielding him than supporting their daughter, that says everything. Guilt is exactly how they keep you quiet.
New_Seesaw_2373 says:
They're making you feel guilty because they're afraid of what you'll find. I recommend you also hire a private investigator and a forensic accountant; this is incredibly shady. NTA.
OP responded:
I was definitely thinking of getting a forensic accountant involved.