'AITA for making my bf's family homeless? I don't care if his brother has cancer!'
"AITA for kicking my boyfriend's family out and refusing to let them move back in after finding out his brother has cancer?"
mixed-breed writes:
I (32F) managed to buy a house in 2020 with my savings from working as a nurse when home prices and interest rates were low. About two years ago, my boyfriend's mom, his ex-convict brother, his brother's wife, and their two kids moved in with me.
Initially, things were okay, but problems started when I began working night shifts six months ago. Every time I came home, the house was a complete mess—dirty dishes, trash everywhere, just total neglect. It became increasingly stressful to return after long shifts to such chaos. To add to that, they were super loud during the day, so I couldn’t get any rest for my following shift. It was just too many people for a small 2-bedroom home.
Despite numerous conversations about cleaning up after themselves, nothing changed. On top of that, I felt like my hospitality was being taken advantage of. They didn't contribute financially, and I started feeling like a free hotel.
I finally reached my limit and told them they needed to find another place to live. My boyfriend is upset, saying I should be more understanding, especially since his brother recently found out he has stomach cancer after I forced him out. Now, he has no way of getting to his doctor’s appointments.
Even though his brother doesn’t contribute, my boyfriend pays for around half of the bills. The house is solely under my name, and he didn't contribute to the down payment. Despite this, he feels I'm being too harsh. Am I the a%#$ole for kicking them out given their current hardships?
Here are the top comments:
alien_overlord_1001 says:
NTA. I feel for them, but I just can't imagine living in someone elses home and not cleaning or paying for anything. These people were totally taking advantage of you.
A 2 bed house is not big enough for that many people. It is not your fault he is ill - it is also not your responsibility. If your boyfriend wants to support them, then he should move somewhere else with them.
Lisbei says:
NTA. However, I don’t think that your relationship is going to survive this. I mean, you’re completely right, and if they wanted to have a home they needed to participate in cleaning etc, but your boyfriend doesn’t seem to value that.
tatersprout says:
NTA. They were all taking advantage of you. You shouldn't have to support an entire extended family. Tell your bf to buy his own house and then his family can live there. You are being disrespected. Sounds like he is exactly like his family. You're not responsible for these people and they all need to start adulting.
Kukka63 says:
NTA, your boyfriend should have been appalled by their behaviour and kicked them out a long time ago. You have been extremely patient and understanding.
What do you think?