'AITA for laughing at my misogynist brother saying he'd be supportive of his GF's career?'
"AITA for laughing at my brothers comment about his new gf potential career?"
pitsoutfortitbul writes:
I need to know whether or not I’m wrong for calling out my 21 (F) brother, 24 (M), for his comments during a dinner when meeting his girlfriend, 19 (F). I’d like to preface this post by saying that my brother is the type of guy who says, with his full chest, that women belong in the kitchen and that women should serve men, etc.
The scenario I need to know about happened yesterday. My brother decided that my family needed to meet his girlfriend, so they came over for dinner. I would like to say that they have only been dating since the beginning of July 2025, and yes, I think it was too soon to meet her, particularly when she doesn’t actually know him that well.
Anyway, my brother, who as I’ve said before has horrible views of women, spent the entire dinner making comments about how much he respects his girlfriend and how he can see them getting married soon.
I managed, and I mean managed, not to react or say anything about his comments until his girlfriend (she’s really nice, I don’t have any problems with her) said that she was thinking about joining the police force.
My brother went on a tirade about how amazing she would be and how supportive he is of the idea. Both my dad and I laughed, which according to my brother was a screw-up, because his girlfriend asked me why I laughed.
I told her the truth, which is that I laughed purely because every time my brother sees a female police officer, he makes misogynistic comments about how easy it would be to take a female cop down and how women shouldn’t be in the police force, military, or any first-line or first responder role.
His girlfriend was obviously stunned and asked him if that was true, to which he just called me a b&^#h and had a go at her for even suggesting a dinner. I called him out on that and said he’d been telling us that he wanted us to meet her, so he can’t blame her for wanting to meet his family.
From there it devolved into a rant about how she won’t marry him anymore and that he’s not going to be able to be intimate with her because she now knows how he really feels about women in law enforcement.
I get that it wasn’t my place to call him out, and I didn’t mean to, but I also don’t want her to be manipulated into thinking he would support her when I’ve heard the horrific things he says.
My dad also backed me up and thought it was wrong for my brother to lie and say he would be supportive when he’s really not. So, am I the a^#%ole for essentially showing my brother’s girlfriend what my brother is really like, not the honeymoon, fresh-into-a-relationship version she’s been seeing?
I just wanted to clarify and say that the reason I thought I could be the a^#%ole in this situation is because I don’t normally stand up to people’s beliefs, especially when it comes to relationships and if I think it could impact a relationship. Part of me felt really bad for interjecting and essentially meddling in their relationship. They haven’t broken up to my knowledge, but they’re not on the best terms at the moment.
OP responded to some comments.
DragonCelica writes:
NTA. They've been dating two weeks and he's already pushing the idea of marriage?! Your brother is a manipulative misogynist. He's likely love bombing her and putting on a good face to lock her down before his mask slips. All of his future girlfriends need to be warned!
OP responded:
I’m convinced it’s a love bombing situation not going to lie, and that’s partially due to both of their ages.
Free-Rise751 says:
Female cops might not be able to take him down, but his 21 yo sister did it with a verbal karate chop.
AssociateFun7604 says:
NTA. Good for you. Please make sure to tell all of his girlfriends this when you meet them too.
Decent_Front4647 says:
NTA. You saved that woman from wasting a bunch of time with a lying, misogynist. This was definitely the right thing to do morally because your brother would have brought her a lot of grief.