'AITA for leaving my GF at a party because she was treating me like a human toilet?' UPDATED
"AITA for leaving my girlfriend at a party after she publicly humiliated me?"
ectopla8m writes:
I (23M) have been dating my girlfriend (22F) for almost a year. She’s smart, fun, and great most of the time, but she has this habit of tearing me down in front of other people. I’ve always brushed it off, thinking maybe I’m just overreacting or being too sensitive. But last weekend, she crossed a line, and I’m starting to wonder if this relationship is even worth it.
Here’s what happened: we were at a party with some friends, and everything was fine at first. We were playing drinking games, and she was already a bit tipsy, but no big deal, right? Then, out of nowhere, she started making “jokes” about me.
She called me “lazy” and said I’m “lucky” she’s with me because, otherwise, I’d just be some loser playing video games all day. Everyone laughed, and I tried to laugh it off too, but inside, I was angry.
Then it got worse. She went into full roast mode—mocking how I don’t make as much money as she does (I’m still in school) and even joked that I was “bad in bed,” saying she “deserves better.” I couldn’t believe it. She was ripping into me like I was some kind of joke to her, and all our friends were just eating it up.
I pulled her aside and told her to stop, that she was crossing a line. She rolled her eyes and said, “Oh my god, stop being so dramatic. It’s a joke. You’re making this awkward now.” She said I was “ruining the vibe” because I couldn’t handle a little teasing. When I tried to leave, she told me to “man up” and stop being such a “crybaby.”
That was it for me. I left the party. I texted her to let her know I was going home, and she didn’t respond until hours later. When she finally came home, she was absolutely livid. She said I “embarrassed her” by leaving and that I made her look “crazy” in front of everyone.
She told me I need to stop being so sensitive and that if I can’t handle her “sense of humor,” maybe I’m not mature enough to be in a relationship. I’m at the point where I don’t even know what to think.
Am I really being too sensitive? I feel like no one should talk about their partner like that, especially in front of friends, but she’s convinced that I’m the problem here. AITA for walking out of the party after my girlfriend publicly humiliated me? Or am I just too sensitive like she says?
Here are the top rated comments:
Sweet_Sophiax says:
NTA. Her behavior was SO disrespectful and hurtful, and her refusal to acknowledge your feelings is a major red flag. What she did was so mean, she's the AH! Everyone deserve to be treated with respect, especially by their partner.
elephantineer says:
Leave her. She's cancer.
SevereYogurtcloset22 says:
You can have self-respect or you can have her. Good luck my man. Many have fallen into the trap that “having her” buys you self respect. It does not. You’re the only one who can do that for yourself. Who can earn your own respect.
Svennis79 says:
NTA, you didn't make her look crazy. She made herself clearly visible as the crazy she is. Get out before you sink any more time, energy or self respect into this void of a human.
OP posted an update.
Hey everyone, back with one update. First off, thanks again for all the advice and support. It helped me realize I needed to stand up for myself, and that’s exactly what I did—though things didn’t go as I expected.
I finally confronted my girlfriend about everything—her constant digs at me, how she embarrassed me at the party, and how I was done being treated that way. I told her I wanted to break up.
At first, she looked completely shocked, like she couldn’t believe I was the one ending things. Then her ego kicked in. She scoffed and said something like, “You’re not breaking up with me—I’m always the one who does the dumping.” She made it clear that, in her mind, no one walks away from her.
To top it off, she hinted that she could’ve been with guys who were “better” than me, saying she stuck around because she thought I’d “eventually make more money” or “get my act together.” It was all about her pride and what she could gain from the relationship.
She wasn’t upset about losing me—she was mad because she didn’t get to be the one calling the shots. I ended it right there and left. Now, she’s trying to spin it like she dumped me, but honestly, I don’t care. I’m just relieved to be out of it.