'AITA for locking the iPad settings so my DIL doesn't sell them on eBay?'
'AITA for telling my DIL that I got the iPads for the kids but I have locked her out of the settings?'
My son works on cargo ships. He is hard to contact and is gone for weeks to months at a time. He will not be around for the holidays. He is married to Daisy. Life has been rough for the couple for the past two years. Daisy became unemployed and has not found work that is flexible enough with the kids. My son is gone often, so he cannot help with childcare.
A common issue that has been happening is that Daisy will sell the kids’ belongings online for extra cash. I really do not approve, especially since she still gets her nails done every two weeks. The kids get into trouble and she sells their things.
My granddaughter only had her new Switch video game for two weeks before it was sold. Daisy claimed she was playing too aggressively with it, but when I asked, she could not give me any examples.
So the seventy dollar Switch game was sold on eBay. This only ever happens with “expensive” gifts. I have talked to her about it, but she denies it. Daisy asked me to buy the two kids iPads for Christmas. They are expensive, and I am worried she will sell them. So I set them up already and made it so she needs a password to get into the settings app. That way she cannot wipe them and sell them.
I called her today and told her I got the kids their iPads and explained that I put a password on the settings app. She was upset, but I made it clear this is the only way I am willing to gift them the iPads. I have been getting constant texts about how I am overstepping.
Was this a rude move? Should I remove the passcode? She is locked out of everything. The cloud account is in my name with my own passcodes, and that is locked. I had people help me set it up so no one else can access it.
Unless she develops hacking skills to rival Apple engineers, she will not be able to wipe them. I also do not think it is fair that the kids cannot have nice things because of her. I only see them once every two weeks. They should be able to use their nice things at home or take them to a friend’s house.
Here's what people had to say to OP:
__The_Kraken__ says:
NTA. Make it clear that you are LOANING YOUR iPads to your grandchildren, and that they remain your property. And if anything happens to those iPads, you will be calling the police.
Federal-Ferret-970 says:
Gift the kids the iPads but they stay at grandmas house. Your DIL is a loser.
ShatNickster says:
NTA. She's getting her nails done biweekly while selling her kids' Christmas presents for "extra cash" and you're supposed to just keep funding that? The fact she's this mad about not being able to wipe the iPads tells you everything you need to know.
Alarming-Brick-3670 says:
NTA but Daisy is. I will never understand donating/selling/throwing away kids' stuff just because they messed up something. Just restricting something for a week or 2 is enough in my opinion. Also, holy hypocrisy, selling KIDS stuff just so she can get her nails done.
I hardly, but still would had understood if she kept the money that she got off selling children's games, so she can buy them something else, but no, her nails are more important than whatever kid got.