'I made a joke at my wedding and found out the truth.' AITA?
"I made a joke at my wedding and found out the truth."
Me (34F) and my husband (35M) have been married for 1 week. A little back story. My husband was planning to propose for 5 years but could never find the right time because he had to travel around the world for his job.
We were dating for 7 years and when it was time for our wedding, I had seen a video of some people who had been married for 15 years. The bride blew dust off her vows, and I thought it was very cute.
I was writing my vows and saw the video. I was in awe. That was so smart. So, its three days before our wedding and I make sure no one knows about my vows. My husband was trying to hear a snippet of my vows.I told him that I couldn't tell him anything. He was a little irritated because he wanted to make sure I wasn't planning or saying something rude. I told him to not worry.
The wedding day arrives, and we start the ceremony. It's amazing and all is going well. I look at him and noticed he's starting to get more anxious the closer we get to the vows. When it was time, I pulled out my vows on a piece of paper.
Earlier I had added sand to blow on the paper and I blow it on the floor. Everyone in the audience starts to laugh and you can see he looks mad. The rest of the day he kept his cool and just ignored it.
The next day, I woke up and went to the kitchen. He was sipping coffee and was very quiet. I asked what was wrong. He tells me that I embarrassed him. I asked him when. He tells me that the vows were embarrassing for him because he doesn't like when I talk to him about that.
I asked him what that is. he keeps telling me that he doesn't like me talking about that. I was confused. That? I ask him again and he snaps. He starts to yell at me about how the topic of dating for seven years.
He wanted to propose earlier but there was some else that he was into but married me because of my money. I started to cry. He hasn't talked to me in days, and I want to divorce.
Here were the top rated comments from readers in response to the OP’s post:
File for an annulment so he doesn't get any of that money he married you for. At least you found out now and not down the line after he has an affair with the girl he was 'into' and several more and he tell you he 'only stayed for the money'. Walk away and pretend it never happened. You wasted seven years, don't waste any more.
I am so sorry this happened to you. Please, please, please seek legal advice ASAP because you definitely don't want that sorry excuse for a human to see one red cent of your money. Protect yourself! Then heal. You WILL find someone who deserves you (probably when you least expect it) because there are good people out there.
Ew. Your husband's is gross and you need to get this annulled ASAP on the grounds that he married you for financial gain!
You’re not going to get a divorce sitting around crying saying you want one. Leave the house and speak to a lawyer about your options. The romance is over. Your husband isn’t pretending anymore as he is confident of his position.
Annul the marriage. You go to a lawyer and explain the situation. He has married you under false pretenses, your lawyer will get the process started. You won't owe your husband anything.
NTA - Don’t waste any more time sitting around crying now, get a good lawyer and start the annulment/divorce process ASAP! Block his access from any and all of your funds, look into moving any joint assets into your name (given he married you for money I’m assuming you bankrolled most of the relationship assets.)
Advise him he needs to find alternative accommodation and that you’ll be in touch. Don’t tell him anything, let him think you “need space” then serve him with the papers.
Is there any way you can get an annulment? If you've got a lot more money than your future ex, it might pay to look into this. You've only been married one week. I would consult a lawyer to find out what documentation you need to prove grounds for annulment.
Then follow the lawyer's instructions. Your future ex essentially defrauded you and you shouldn't have to hand over any of your money or property in a divorce settlement.
It sounds like there was a serious lack of communication, and that’s been the root of the problem. You joking around with your vows could have been harmless fun, but his response suggests there are deeper, unspoken issues.
Such as his past feelings about your relationship. It’s important for both of you to express your needs and concerns openly to understand each other better, especially so early in the marriage.
You didn’t make a joke. You mocked your (future annulled/ex) husband in front of everyone. It’s only a joke if everyone is laughing and he wasn’t. Hell - he even asked you NOT to replicate that video with your own vows. Obviously if what he said is true - you have to end the marriage. I’d try to get an annulment. He’s the bigger AH. But this is an ESH kinda deal.
Let me tell you, not everything you think is funny is funny to the person you are making fun of. Let this be a lesson. In fact, because of this he might have realized that you are not right for him and now he has made up this story to put an end to it.