'AITA for making my wife confess to all her friends and family about her affair?'
I made my wife confess to all her friends and family that she cheated on me.
DueAffection writes:
I (34M) have been married to my wife (32F) for 5 years, and we have 3 children. A few months ago, I found out from my wife’s texts that she had been cheating on me, and I confronted her about it. She confessed to it and gave me an entire breakdown of her affair, which had lasted for a month. I was devastated and asked her why.
She gave no excuses for it and said she had caught feelings for her affair partner, which were wrong, and she had acted on them (he was her coworker). I asked her if I lacked in anything, and she said no, and she was in tears.
I needed a few days to process this. My wife gave me space, but she asked me many times to reconsider divorce because it would uproot the lives of our children. She said she would do anything I wanted for the rest of my life.
After a week, I decided that I needed only one thing from my wife to completely forgive her, and that was to call each and every one of her friends and family and confess to her affair. I told her that was my only condition.
She was really hesitant and asked me if I could reconsider the condition because this would ruin a lot of her friendships and family relationships, but I told her this was what I needed as a part of my forgiveness process, and that if she didn’t do this, I was going to start looking for a divorce lawyer.
Over the next week, my wife made a phone call to all of her friends, parents, grandparents, siblings, uncles, aunts, pretty much anyone she knew, and confessed to her affair. It was hurtful, and there was a lot of crying. My wife was hurled with a lot of shouting. By the week’s end, my wife had called everyone I had wanted her to call.
It has been a few months, and my wife and I actually have a really strong relationship now. However, my wife has pretty much become isolated from her friends and a lot of her family. This has hurt her a lot, and she spends a lot of nights crying, but she says this was worth it for our relationship and for our children. AITAH?
Here are the top comments:
Glittering_Joke3438 says:
Incredible that anyone with three small kids finds time to cheat. I only have one and barely have the time to shower.
CyberArwen1980 says:
The marriage wont last.
Altruistic_Barber598 says:
I just feel like that’s embarrassing for you too. You stayed with a cheating spouse….like your wife s#%t the bed, then had to tell her whole family and friends she s$^t the bed. While you were in the bed sitting in the s%&t.
Ms_McNugget97 says:
I understand the need to get your wife to confess to someone other than yourself. But from the number of persons you describe her calling, it seems to be more of airing the dirty laundry. Aside from parents and siblings, what was the point of letting other relatives and friends know?
havinghardtimes67 says:
Your wife should have just taken the divorce honestly. Nothing good can come of this marriage. She’ll eventually tire of submitting to your demands and she’ll eventually leave.
What do you think?