'I met an amazing girl on a 16-hour flight, thought it was fate, now I’m spiraling.'

"Met an amazing girl on a 16-hour flight, thought it was fate, now I’m spiraling."

I honestly just need to vent because it’s 3AM and I feel like my chest is going to explode. ​I just flew back to LA from Dubai after spending 3 weeks at home in Mumbai. I was already feeling low about leaving family and coming back to an empty apartment, but then this happened.

​I sat next to this girl on the flight. We vibed for literally 10 hours straight. We spoke about absolutely everything our families, our backgrounds and we bonded hard over The Office. We were just genuinely joking around and smiling the whole time. It didn’t feel like two strangers, it felt like we’d known each other forever. We also spoke about how we would explore new places in LA!

​I had asked for her number on the plane very smoothly and she gave it ! but here is the kicker: once we got off, she specifically asked for mine. She looked at me and said, "Please text me." I felt really good in that moment because it felt genuine, like she actually wanted to keep this going. ​

But when I tried to text her later, the number didn't work (WhatsApp one tick)although i could still see her picture. I panicked and found her on LinkedIn. ​She replied instantly to my connection request saying "Hey, omg! yes for sure." ​I replied back... and silence. It’s been a week.

She hasn’t even opened my second message. ​I know I might sound crazy for getting attached to someone I knew for 10 hours, but the connection felt so real. And honestly, even if this was just a normal friend, I would still be hurt. It just feels terrible to bond with someone like that and then be dropped. ​Now I’m sitting here in my room, jet-lagged, homesick, and completely depressed.

I’m a Master's in EE student and I have a huge interview with cisco coming up that I need to prep for, but I can’t focus. I’m just staring at my phone waiting for a notification that isn’t coming. ​Why do I get attached so quickly? How do I stop feeling like I lost something amazing? I feel so alone right now. Just looking for some advice.

Edit: Yes she was nice, yes I did fall for her, but even if it was a male friend or a platonic friendship I'd have still been hurt because its hard to lose someone you have bonded deeply with for 10 hours.

Here's what people had to say to OP:

maxpayne2020 wrote:

The right people will want to be a part of your life regardless of how and when and where they met you. Do not go after what does not want you. Call your parents, your friends and go out for a coffee to take your mind away.

Also, what could have been a connection for you, could have been something else for the other person. We never can know what the other person feels - until they act on their feelings. See her action and take it as your closure. Be thankful for the experience, and look forward to your next.

OP responded:

Thank you so much. I needed to hear this "see her action and take it as closure" I guess thats the only closure I'll get.

MenudoMenudo wrote:

Sometimes the moment matters. I met a girl in the departure lounge for a 5 hour flight. Our plane was delayed 2 hours, and then we changed seats to sit together. By the end of the flight we were holding hands and she stole a kiss in the terminal before we parted ways.

We met up again the first chance we had, a week later, and whatever spark was there during those 9 hours was just gone. I was depressed about it for a while, but life goes on.

OP responded:

Ouch that hurts! But at least you had the closure that you had lost the spark. For me, I'll just have to assume that she wasn't interested (which doesn't make sense to me at all, why would she ask me to put my number in + also accept Linkedin request and reply properly).

Bellamie9876 wrote:

I’m going to be frank here...she was on flight, basically stuck next to the person she was assigned to and on a 10 hr flight, it makes the time pass to talk to someone. She didn’t think it was anything more than that.

You finding her on lLnkedin when she gave you the wrong number would make any rational person be skeeved out. It’s a little much. Good for you for your courage in asking her out, but she gave you the wrong number bc she wasn’t comfortable and how you acted after, i’d say she had her wits about her.

OP responded:

First of all, it wasn't a wrong number It was her number I can see per profile pic its just its probably an old one / disabled. Secondly after getting out of the plane I wasn't forcing a convo but she told me on her own "please text me." And then later she also asked me to put my number down on her phone.

keybumpsanddumps wrote:

Try to chill on this, man. There are a million reasons she might not have responded, NONE OF WHICH YOU CAN CONTROL. The best life lesson for me has been to truly let go of things out of my control. It takes work, but when you find yourself getting upset or acting out of character about something, ask yourself if you can control it.

If not, continue to remind yourself of it and let it go. Best of luck. Sounds like you have plenty of other important things to spend your time and energy on. Focus on that.

kifoadafali wrote:

That sucks but guys tend to get obsessed when they meet a girl that gives them attention when they have none. It seems that you crave female attention and maybe a relationship but it won't come until you chill and relax.

A whole week of not opening and answering a message is a lot even if she is really busy. Also the number she originally gave you didn't work for some reason. Maybe you projected your needs on the connection?

OP responded:

Yes she was nice. Yes I did fall for her. But even if it was a male friend or a platonic friendship I'd have still been hurt because its hard to lose someone you have bonded deeply with for 10 hours!

Optimal-Tomato510 wrote:

She probably forgot to mention some key details of her life on your 10 hour flight. Maybe she’s seeing someone, maybe she has a sick parent, maybe she has some serious mental health concerns, maybe life happened and her attention is being taken by something else, something more important to her.

What you saw in the 10 hours was a performance. It’s not her reality. Don’t make it your reality. You had a great experience— cherish it. Turn it into art (a story; music; whatever). Don’t burden it with expectations to be more.