'AITA for leaving my daughter of at my MIL's and refusing to pick her up?'
"AITA for leaving my daughter of at my MIL's and refusing to pick her up?"
My daughter, Tamra (14), has been going through a terrible phase at home. I (F38) can do nothing right. All she does is argue with me and scream.
She will not do her chores, and she makes life harder for me and her little brother (12). I was 14 once, so I remember what it was like to be that age. I am doing my best to just get her through this. I may not always do the best job or keep my cool with her, but I am trying.
My husband is out of town right now. His mom, however, lives a couple of towns over and has decided to chime in. Tamra called her when I grounded her for skipping school and vaping weed with her degenerate friends. I took away all her screen privileges except her laptop, which she needs for school. I am a dummy because she called her grandmother on it.
My MIL Helen is usually a levelheaded woman, so I have no idea why she has decided that her parenting advice is wanted or warranted at this time. She said that I am being cruel to her poor baby girl and that I should not be trying to control her like this.
I said that I was punishing my daughter for unacceptable behavior and that how I reprimanded my child was not her problem. She countered with the fact that she raised four children, all boys by the way, that she did not have to punish this way. I know her youngest was out of the house before smartphones, so it is different.
My daughter came into the room while I was talking to Helen and started screaming about what a terrible person I am and that she wants to move out as soon as she can. Helen said that none of her kids ever said that, so she must be a better mother. I asked her if she was serious and wanted to give it a shot.
Tamra jumped at the opportunity and begged her grandmother to take her. Helen agreed. I drove her to Helen's house and said I would come back when my husband gets home, and we can talk.
I dropped her off on Saturday, three days ago. Helen started calling me on Sunday. I need to come get my daughter. Sorry, I can't; my son and I went to visit my folks for the week.
I thought it would be a good opportunity to see my parents at their farm since my daughter hates it there away from her friends and the city. My parents are also the last people on earth with dial-up internet. My son does not care because he gets to play with the horses. It is a little early yet for foals, but who knows.
Helen asked me to please come get Tamra. She even called my husband. He called me and I told him what was going on. He said that if his mom had asked for it, then she needed to follow through. I love that guy.
I also fielded calls from my two sisters-in-law. They asked me what was going on. So I told them. They asked if I was really going to leave Tamra with our MIL for another week. I said that is where she was staying unless they wanted to watch her. They both noped out without suggesting I go get her.
Tamra and Helen each have their reasons for thinking I am an a&^%ole. I do not think my daughter is. AITA?
Here are the top comments from the post:
Quailpower says:
My mom tried this when my son was 8 months and not sleeping more than 2 hours at a time. Apparently I didn't know what I was doing and it was dead easy to get babies to sleep, no one had colic in her day it's just an excuse. So I let her have an overnight... She never mentioned it again and was so frazzled the next day she was basically shaking.
Prestigious-Maybe-73 says:
NTA (Not the A^&$ole). You are not abandoning her there permanently. You are letting her and her grandmother both have what they asked for. One week is not the end of the world. I am glad that your husband had your back. It is a shiny spine but support is great.
Healthy-Magician-502 says:
NTA. Maybe this will teach your daughter a lesson about how to behave. Ignore everyone calling you an a-hole. I guarantee you they have feral children.
Silver-Raspberry-723 says:
Her daughter begged her to let her go and is not wanting to come back. Granny is so tough? Let her pull up her big brass balled panties and deal with the teen.And I bet the longer she stays the less fun it will be when granny looses her sh%t. I think that’s called NATURAL CONSEQUENCES.
What do you think?